sidharth speaks

well hey guys am sure you would have been convinced am some psych by now - the way i run after diya only to spoil the relation. but its only one side of the story. thanks sow for letting me talk.
i was born and brought up in delhi and it was classical music that brought me to chennai.it was 2002 thats when i saw her. i've never been a big believer of love-esp love at first sight. but guys - its only when something happens to us, do we accept a lot of things.i was crazy about her, but i didnt have an access to this goddess. so i blogged my love and spread the word hoping against hope she calls me up. it took 2 years of plain torture waiting for a reply and madam replies.man! that one moment - it was ecstatic. she was the one person to whom acting idiotic seemed better than acting intelligent.she liked me for just what i am - any guys dream. when she told me she was falling for me - i swear that moment was more intoxicating than weed or alcohol. i was a brat - and instead of medicine, i had settled for bio technology. and once she came into my life - she made it proper. she never bossed around, was never unnatural or egoistic and i couldnt love her more. i could not see life without her. anywhere in the future. after all its us guys who love more right?
we both had just completed college first year and parents finding out about it was a little difficult in terms of maturity for us to handle. i agree my father over-reacted.over-reactions have always been a part of my family. blame it on my genes. he fought with her poor parents who had no clue.and then on top of it, went and visited her grand mom and slyly checked out the family details. and he comes and tells me the family seems nice. diya seems to be a nice girl. i was elated for my father was giving me the green signal. i now knew there was no stopping our marriage. but things backfired at her house. they absolutely didnt like whatever my over-enthusiastic father did. nor did they like me. diya was horrified, that my dad checked about her from my cousin and her friends. (remember my cousin is diya's college senior?).
i dont blame her. she s a princess and a person of gold. nobody has secretly checked out if she was a good girl. she felt hurt and irritated with the way it was done. so when their family was scoring good points, my family was scoring bad points.

the other pit fall was me being possessive. but come on guys - am not richard gere. infact am still surprised that this girl fell for me in the first place. i am just an ordinary looking over-weight fella. i was only protecting my baby from other guys (better looking). not that i dont trust diya - i dont trust the other guys. after all we brothers know what the rest are upto right? :P
i drink - but tell me which girl likes it. esp kalyani brand - awesome man! i lied that i dont drink. already the situation was bad. and diya found out about this. she couldnt believe i lied.this angel of mine never lied to me for anything. i knew i hurt her. i knew i couldnt take it back.

the situation was worrying me. diya was increasingly unhappy and i didnt know what to do. my helplessness turned into possessiveness to hold onto her tight, but the tighter i held on - the farer diya was getting away. i knew i was suffocating her - but i didnt know how i could repair the situation. if only men were as articulate as women. i dont think asking my friends to spy was wrong.after all only flirts go to her college.and their only job is to hit on MY girl. how do i protect my love.
diya shouted at me telling - sid! am mature enough to handle flirts. i love you! dont for a moment think ill stray. i only want your trust.and not this macho attitude. this only implies a lack of trust.
i couldnt answer - neither could i stop when she brought thunder.
she told me she wanted to part ways. gave me a lot of reasons. but i couldnt rationalise with her,how could i? i couldnt even comprehend what she spoke to me only she said lets part. my heart broke is an understatement. thats the only time i cried. cried that my baby had gone. life turned to black and white from technicolor. and i hated my father!

i took to booze and fag. i even tried the idea of weeds and one-night stands. i know i tried to blame it on diya. but i could not. she was MY diya. My angel. she always will be so. i tried contacting her every year on her birthday. she always loved me enough to talk to me, but would not get back to me.

who knew life would come a full circle and me and diya would again come together?