perception

she is a bitch!
he is a loser!
i am sure they are gay!
look at him, definitely malicious.
Let's face it. We've all been there, done that. we have thoughtlessly labeled people, because our super logical, absolutely accurate 'gut instinct' tells us so. Or even better, a friend tells us so, or the herd we belong to, thinks so.
I do not know which is more pathetic, that we don't have the brains to form our own opinions after getting to know the right facts, or the way we miss out on an opportunity to get to know a person. they could, if we had been open, become our best friend, our mentor, girl/boy friend, soul sister/ brother, what not?
when i sit and try to analyze the reason behind it at the grass root level, some of my findings would be
1. we feel a compelling urge to belong to a clique, that we are ready to accept the clique's opinions as personal opinions.
2. we have lost the balls to stand up to one's beliefs.
3. we have lost the ability to be rational. blame the educational system, we are highly smart idiots, trained to think one particular way only.
4. we hide up our insecurities by branding someone and putting them down.
5. we have evolved into sadistic homo sapiens.
6. we are so sure about our opinions that we really dont accept our reasoning could be flawed.
the reasons are innumerable. but often at the end of the day, all that we achieve is hurt someone beyond repair in most cases and lead a shallow life, devoid of any real relationships.
has our generation become so intolerant and shallow? i am hoping against hope that it would not be so.
like said before, i have been there and done that, but i pledge to not label someone. do you?

ramya

i was wondering what to write about for i so wanted to write but didnt know what to write about. i asked my sister who was nearby for inspiration and she wanted me to write about her. i dismissed the idea saying there is nothing to write about her. she immediately told me how her 'bro' irfan had promised to write about her in the 4th year of college and how sweet he was. that immediately got me in action. but i still did not know what to write about. well i still remember mom being pregnant with her and the tiny baby in the hospital. ramya has always been synonymous with her 13kilos of weight for quite a long time and the seemingly never ending struggle to get her to eat and poop :P (i know am gonna be killed for this). the one thing i loved about her, or rather 2 things - the seemingly large head on an obnoxiously small body and the even smaller - nearly non-existent nose, both of which i loved to keep messing around with.(i know i have been a devil :P) she has always been a good dancer and a social butterfly. her huge friend list who swear by her would vouch for this statement. someone as arrogant and stupid as her, can actually be sweet is a big surprise :P
madam harbors big dreams and boy, believe me you need to learn persuasive skills from her. if she wants an external hard disk, she would ask dad for a new laptop. a stunned dad would say no and madam would act like she s coming down from her important request and settling down for a hard disk for which dad would happily comply not knowing that this devil had actually wanted a hard disk in the first place.
whenever shes home, the house always buzzes with people and it is a very happy thing to be surrounded by good friends.
well, i really am giving up on writing something nice about her :P so for now - ciao

turbulence

the last one month has been an eye-opener in more ways than i would have thought. a new house, rekindling old school day memories, friends, wonderfully progressing project, steady work towards my future exams. maybe i was too quick in thinking, that i couldn't ask for more, for i was not anticipating the nightmare that was awaiting. as the days slowly unraveled, i ended up like a house-elf from one of the harry potter novels, and had to bear all financial expenses and what not! and added to that, every single move was being scrutinized and not to surmise was being reported in wrong way by a certain someone too. trust me, this is when i really knew what abuse and domestic cruelty to women are though i am single and just sharing a house with someone. my project came to a stand still. people i trusted the most, found it very easy to trample my heart and walk away with ease. people i thought were arrogant, turned out to be solid friends. i am indebted to my family (extended as well), friends (old and new) - the true solid ones and even people who gave me hell for without the former i wouldn't have had the strength to push through and face things and without the latter i wouldn't have known the cheaper ruthless disloyal, unclassy and mean world. it really was an eye opener and all through this turbulent period, am really proud that though with slightly ruffled feathers, i still manage to stay put and sane.i still believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel for after such a fall, there is no lower that one can go, except rise up.

crying myself to sleep and worrying about the situation, the complication, the finance, the responsibilities, the loneliness and what not, i find the courage to test limits and never say no and get back up again. i now know to trust my gut instincts and not to try to win over it by logic. i now know that the first impression is indeed an accurate impression. if my heart tells me this guy is a no-gooder for me, i should learn to trust my instincts that find reasons to be with him. if my heart tells me my house owner is not what she says she is, its time i learnt to believe my heart.

the more i understand life, the more i see people, living their amidst their own problems, in their own small world, trapped in the dogmas that a hypocritical society lays down. I wont say i dont regret the problems that i have pulled upon myself, but i know i will face them right on and come out of it without losing focus.

every adversity has something to teach, and the month of February has taught me life. life lessons that have shaped me the hard way, but still shaped me.

valentine's day

i've never really been a big fan of valentine's day. but there has always been a feel good factor about it. right from the dress codes you have about what and what not to wear, the flowers, and what not. it's the day of road side romeos and juliets to have a blast. at 23, and a few good and bad memories later, today i sit and wonder what love actually is. is it the selfless ones from your parents, the bonding with siblings, the sisterhood with bffs, hobbies that you 'love', or the one person who makes your heart flutter..what? my definition of love has changed for as long as i can remember. when i opened my eyes for the first time it was my parents, then my folks, then my sibling, to the best friend at school who shared chocolates, to my teacher who taught me rhymes, to the first cute guy with a cute smile, to someone who was intensely passionate, to someone who had a stable head on his shoulders to my career now. how exactly do you define love? is it what you give others or what someone makes you you feel or what you want out of life? is it always bubbly and fuzzy like its made out to be or does all practicality of every day mundane things put in? i have had quite a number of invitations for one-night stands, to no strings attached relationships, to someone telling me i love you and the next minute tell me i am not sure, and what not? and all this under the title of love. and then there is my dog that loves me for just what i am even at my worst. and then there are guys who want me to wear contacts, slim down and wear trendy dresses so that they can feel proud to show me off. the clear line between love and whats not love gets lost somewhere down the drain. do we blame globalisation for it or our increasingly decreasing morals (pun intended) for it? i dont know. but all i know is today is saint valentines birthday and for all those who are going out with someone - have fun guys!!!

Reminiscence

having managed to be super busy and spoil my health, this Va-Kay was a gift. but being idle does get to you soon. i was killing time talking to my equally bored granny. she was reminiscing about olden days and the stories were fun and awesome to listen to. getting rolls of cloth for 1 rs and that being transformed into shirts for guys and frocks for the girls, the lil brother walking 10 feet in front of granny as kids for pride and her singing loudly on the streets at night to keep herself from being scared, granny's siblings going to movies, the first moush, the first jail visit, the first college days. their first love, the stories, made me think of just one thing. they had time for living life even when they had nothing. the sophistication, the technology, the globalization - being a connoisseur of different cultures, global awareness, finesse, and what not? yet, there does exist a vaccum in our generation.
i remember stories of my dads generation. and all my uncles and aunts reviving those memories and telling me , your life and your kids life will not be different. it will all be computers and technology. but ours and your world were totally different. they have so many memories of all kids getting together for holidays, studying together, eating, living, fighting,growing up, being there for each other, crashing bikes, cars, accidents, crashes and crushes, hate and love, secret booze and fag, movies (1st row), late night wanderings, renting cycles and tree climbing and stealing fruits, ,and what not. patti still laughs over how mischievous they were and her kids were.
i look back at my life and i all i remember is relatives strewn across the globe that i have not seen., not heard of and cousins i dont know exist, and memories that i will never get to have as part of my childhood. and the plight of my kids is going to be worse. i would certainly advocate all to talk to our grandparents and parents and listen to those stories that will certainly leave a happy indelible feeling around.
and guess we should emphasize more on the flesh and, blood part of a part more. get to meet your friends more in person ( no g talks don't count).be there for relatives, get to know cousins more. spend time with family. life's happiness doesn't lie in technology, its the small pleasures of life that the previous generations knew about and cherished.