random words

perception

2011-06-26T02:13:00.000-07:00

she is a bitch!
he is a loser!
i am sure they are gay!
look at him, definitely malicious.
Let's face it. We've all been there, done that. we have thoughtlessly labeled people, because our super logical, absolutely accurate 'gut instinct' tells us so. Or even better, a friend tells us so, or the herd we belong to, thinks so.
I do not know which is more pathetic, that we don't have the brains to form our own opinions after getting to know the right facts, or the way we miss out on an opportunity to get to know a person. they could, if we had been open, become our best friend, our mentor, girl/boy friend, soul sister/ brother, what not?
when i sit and try to analyze the reason behind it at the grass root level, some of my findings would be
1. we feel a compelling urge to belong to a clique, that we are ready to accept the clique's opinions as personal opinions.
2. we have lost the balls to stand up to one's beliefs.
3. we have lost the ability to be rational. blame the educational system, we are highly smart idiots, trained to think one particular way only.
4. we hide up our insecurities by branding someone and putting them down.
5. we have evolved into sadistic homo sapiens.
6. we are so sure about our opinions that we really dont accept our reasoning could be flawed.
the reasons are innumerable. but often at the end of the day, all that we achieve is hurt someone beyond repair in most cases and lead a shallow life, devoid of any real relationships.
has our generation become so intolerant and shallow? i am hoping against hope that it would not be so.
like said before, i have been there and done that, but i pledge to not label someone. do you?

ramya

2011-03-12T09:17:00.000-08:00

i was wondering what to write about for i so wanted to write but didnt know what to write about. i asked my sister who was nearby for inspiration and she wanted me to write about her. i dismissed the idea saying there is nothing to write about her. she immediately told me how her 'bro' irfan had promised to write about her in the 4th year of college and how sweet he was. that immediately got me in action. but i still did not know what to write about. well i still remember mom being pregnant with her and the tiny baby in the hospital. ramya has always been synonymous with her 13kilos of weight for quite a long time and the seemingly never ending struggle to get her to eat and poop :P (i know am gonna be killed for this). the one thing i loved about her, or rather 2 things - the seemingly large head on an obnoxiously small body and the even smaller - nearly non-existent nose, both of which i loved to keep messing around with.(i know i have been a devil :P) she has always been a good dancer and a social butterfly. her huge friend list who swear by her would vouch for this statement. someone as arrogant and stupid as her, can actually be sweet is a big surprise :P
madam harbors big dreams and boy, believe me you need to learn persuasive skills from her. if she wants an external hard disk, she would ask dad for a new laptop. a stunned dad would say no and madam would act like she s coming down from her important request and settling down for a hard disk for which dad would happily comply not knowing that this devil had actually wanted a hard disk in the first place.
whenever shes home, the house always buzzes with people and it is a very happy thing to be surrounded by good friends.
well, i really am giving up on writing something nice about her :P so for now - ciao

turbulence

2011-02-23T22:53:00.001-08:00

the last one month has been an eye-opener in more ways than i would have thought. a new house, rekindling old school day memories, friends, wonderfully progressing project, steady work towards my future exams. maybe i was too quick in thinking, that i couldn't ask for more, for i was not anticipating the nightmare that was awaiting. as the days slowly unraveled, i ended up like a house-elf from one of the harry potter novels, and had to bear all financial expenses and what not! and added to that, every single move was being scrutinized and not to surmise was being reported in wrong way by a certain someone too. trust me, this is when i really knew what abuse and domestic cruelty to women are though i am single and just sharing a house with someone. my project came to a stand still. people i trusted the most, found it very easy to trample my heart and walk away with ease. people i thought were arrogant, turned out to be solid friends. i am indebted to my family (extended as well), friends (old and new) - the true solid ones and even people who gave me hell for without the former i wouldn't have had the strength to push through and face things and without the latter i wouldn't have known the cheaper ruthless disloyal, unclassy and mean world. it really was an eye opener and all through this turbulent period, am really proud that though with slightly ruffled feathers, i still manage to stay put and sane.i still believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel for after such a fall, there is no lower that one can go, except rise up.

crying myself to sleep and worrying about the situation, the complication, the finance, the responsibilities, the loneliness and what not, i find the courage to test limits and never say no and get back up again. i now know to trust my gut instincts and not to try to win over it by logic. i now know that the first impression is indeed an accurate impression. if my heart tells me this guy is a no-gooder for me, i should learn to trust my instincts that find reasons to be with him. if my heart tells me my house owner is not what she says she is, its time i learnt to believe my heart.

the more i understand life, the more i see people, living their amidst their own problems, in their own small world, trapped in the dogmas that a hypocritical society lays down. I wont say i dont regret the problems that i have pulled upon myself, but i know i will face them right on and come out of it without losing focus.

every adversity has something to teach, and the month of February has taught me life. life lessons that have shaped me the hard way, but still shaped me.

valentine's day

2011-02-14T01:57:00.000-08:00

i've never really been a big fan of valentine's day. but there has always been a feel good factor about it. right from the dress codes you have about what and what not to wear, the flowers, and what not. it's the day of road side romeos and juliets to have a blast. at 23, and a few good and bad memories later, today i sit and wonder what love actually is. is it the selfless ones from your parents, the bonding with siblings, the sisterhood with bffs, hobbies that you 'love', or the one person who makes your heart flutter..what? my definition of love has changed for as long as i can remember. when i opened my eyes for the first time it was my parents, then my folks, then my sibling, to the best friend at school who shared chocolates, to my teacher who taught me rhymes, to the first cute guy with a cute smile, to someone who was intensely passionate, to someone who had a stable head on his shoulders to my career now. how exactly do you define love? is it what you give others or what someone makes you you feel or what you want out of life? is it always bubbly and fuzzy like its made out to be or does all practicality of every day mundane things put in? i have had quite a number of invitations for one-night stands, to no strings attached relationships, to someone telling me i love you and the next minute tell me i am not sure, and what not? and all this under the title of love. and then there is my dog that loves me for just what i am even at my worst. and then there are guys who want me to wear contacts, slim down and wear trendy dresses so that they can feel proud to show me off. the clear line between love and whats not love gets lost somewhere down the drain. do we blame globalisation for it or our increasingly decreasing morals (pun intended) for it? i dont know. but all i know is today is saint valentines birthday and for all those who are going out with someone - have fun guys!!!

Reminiscence

2011-01-03T22:47:00.000-08:00

having managed to be super busy and spoil my health, this Va-Kay was a gift. but being idle does get to you soon. i was killing time talking to my equally bored granny. she was reminiscing about olden days and the stories were fun and awesome to listen to. getting rolls of cloth for 1 rs and that being transformed into shirts for guys and frocks for the girls, the lil brother walking 10 feet in front of granny as kids for pride and her singing loudly on the streets at night to keep herself from being scared, granny's siblings going to movies, the first moush, the first jail visit, the first college days. their first love, the stories, made me think of just one thing. they had time for living life even when they had nothing. the sophistication, the technology, the globalization - being a connoisseur of different cultures, global awareness, finesse, and what not? yet, there does exist a vaccum in our generation.
i remember stories of my dads generation. and all my uncles and aunts reviving those memories and telling me , your life and your kids life will not be different. it will all be computers and technology. but ours and your world were totally different. they have so many memories of all kids getting together for holidays, studying together, eating, living, fighting,growing up, being there for each other, crashing bikes, cars, accidents, crashes and crushes, hate and love, secret booze and fag, movies (1st row), late night wanderings, renting cycles and tree climbing and stealing fruits, ,and what not. patti still laughs over how mischievous they were and her kids were.
i look back at my life and i all i remember is relatives strewn across the globe that i have not seen., not heard of and cousins i dont know exist, and memories that i will never get to have as part of my childhood. and the plight of my kids is going to be worse. i would certainly advocate all to talk to our grandparents and parents and listen to those stories that will certainly leave a happy indelible feeling around.
and guess we should emphasize more on the flesh and, blood part of a part more. get to meet your friends more in person ( no g talks don't count).be there for relatives, get to know cousins more. spend time with family. life's happiness doesn't lie in technology, its the small pleasures of life that the previous generations knew about and cherished.

note

2010-12-04T02:01:00.000-08:00

my story - the love story - holds no validity anymore!!!

love story part 13

2010-11-10T03:03:00.000-08:00

sidharth was disturbed. his heart longed for diya but he was getting frustrated. diya had built a wall around her heart and refused to reason. he was getting angry when he kept losing out arguing with her, rationalising to make her come back. diya was hurt. he knew that but he didnt know how to let her udnerstand how he was not arvind.
with days rolling away, sid tried to speak to diya. contrary to the past, diya atleast spoke to sid normally.she often grew a barrier only when he broached the subject of them getting back together as a couple. sidharth decided to give her time to heal, yet he made sure he didnt let go of her to someone else. he knew no-one else could love her the way he did.
diya was again becoming incresingly confortable with sid, this time as a friend. he was once someone who knew her very well. sid and diya both discovered each other more as friends than they ever did as a couple.

date : 2009
sid: diya, do you realise how much i know you better now than before? man, we should have started out as friends.
diya: yes sid. true. i feel so confortable with you around at my back. you are a good friend than a possesive boyfriend :P
sid: but diya, what i wanted was a relationship, now that we know each other well.
diya: sid, lets not talk of a relationship.

it happened every time. every one time sid wanted a relationship diya stopped talking. it frustrated sid to no end and sometime he spoke words he regretted.

sid: whats wrong with me diya? am i not the same person you fell in love with?
diya: no sid, you are not. you do know how much i hate smoking, drinking and one night stands dont you?
the sid i fell in love with, didnt do any of it. i dont know the sid i talk to now a days.
sid: well as if you are the same.
diya: what do you mean?
sid: you've been with someone else too diya. dont act all saintly.
diya: sid, am hurt by that sentence. nothing happened.
sid: ya right.

every time sid lost his temper and spoke something, diya felt terribly hurt. sid was frustrated. he wanted his diya back. diya was frustrated too.she wanted her sid back. both were searching for their own dopplegangers. sid finally decided to open up to diya.

he made her listen to how he had spoken to his parents, had given up on one night stands, smoking and drinking and how he was the same sid she fell in love with. sid recalled one incident from the past when they were in a relationship. as the calls were STD, sid used to skip lunch to save up for the calls he made to diya to speak longer. diya was moved as she heard all this stories from sid. she cried. for the first time it was tears of both happiness and love and sorrow of missing the person.
diya: sid, why didnt you tell me all this before?
sid: i wanted you to realise am still the same without me telling. but you never understood me diya. so what do you say? get back to me?
diya: sid! i cant.
sid: but why?
diya: sid you only talk about things from your perspective. i have quit my job. and i dont have any bodys support.my parents are not talking to me and its taking me time to set my career right. how can i think of a relationship now. maybe you ll be better if you start dating someone else.
sid: talk to your mom. this time around, i want you to tell your parents and friends that you are dating me before you get together with me?
diya: but why?
sid: so that you dont run away from me again. you ll be tied down.
diya: is that what you think of me sid?

sid immediately knew it was too late to correct his blunder. diya had shut herself again. nothing happened till may 2010. diya and sid were still friends. sid was diya's best friend and diya was sid's love of his life. it was diya's birthday. the last birthday she was spending at home as she was all ready to leave home to fly to the USA for her masters. it was sid who with her through thick and thin, encouraging her and supporting her every decision. deep down, diya knew that if she was doing her masters, it was because of one person. sid. the one person she always loved despite all that happened and the one person to whom she couldnt profess her love. sid couldnt be more happier. and he c ouldnt love anyone more, than his diya. the one person who still spoke to him inspite of him talking bull shit to her. the one person who didnt take to heart his spiteful words but still understood his real intentions. things were going smooth between diya and sid.

diya confessed to madhu before she left.
diya: this is one guy i left. i didnt try to sort out the issues when i broke the relationship off madhu. and now when i know the kinda mistake i made after arvind's episode. how can i get back to sid. is it not shameless on my part to do that? sid deserves better than me madhu. i cannot shamelessly go back to him and torture him with my presence.
madhu: sweetie, he loves you. he wont think of it that way.
diya: no madhu, i thought so too. but you know the words you say when you are angry are the ones that come from your heart and whenever hes angry, all that he can talk about is my past with arvind. he s not over the fact that i was with someother guy madhu. i cannot take that all my life. yes arvind was a mistake but i dont need a reminder from sid about it. he wont be happy with me madhu.
madhu: do you love him?
diya: (remains silent)
madhu: speak up you idiot. do you?
diya: (breaks down) more than anything else madhu. always have. the first time i came away from him because he didnt trust me. now am coming away from him because i love him too much and i know he deserves someone better. someone with whom he ll be happy.
madhu: diya. i dont know what to say. come here babes. (hugs diya as she silently cries)

sid knew very well that diya was in love with him. he tried reasoning, sarcasm, anger, and what not to get her back. diya for some reason didnt come back to him. all her reasons seemed like crap to him. he knew he couldnt go on for ever like this. thats when megha proposed to sid.

sid had completed his dual degree masters in bio tech in delhi and flown to germany for his doctrate. a fellow doctrate was megha who had fallen for sid a long time back. sid occasionally used to talk about diya and how he couldnt get her back to megha. and now she had proposed. on side was megha with whom he could start a new life and on the other was his own diya. the one person he couldnt stop loving and couldnt see as someone elses.

madhu took it as her job to try and reason with diya. she convinced diya that sid was the man for her. it took her a months time to reason it out with diya. diya slowly was getting convinced that she wanted to get back to sid. she spoke to her parents about him. the vasishts never had any good opinion about him but they saw the love in diyas eyes. they relented. diya was happy that she did what sid wanted. - speaking to her parents. she was about to fly to USA the next night and she called up sid to tell him the happy news.

diya:sid am leaving tomorrow. its all because of you sid. i love you.
sid: love you too babe. i need to tell you something.
diya: really? even i have something to tell you. something very happy. oh how i wish you are here now.
sid: what is it?
diya: you go first sid. what is it?
sid: do you remember how you used to tell me that i should start seeing someone else? well there is one megha who proposed.
diya: (shocked) and?
sid: am confused diya. you never tell me if you love me. if you tell me something once and for all i will respond to meghas proposal.
diya: do you like her?
sid: well ya, i do. but..
diya: (feigning happiness) what are you waiting for? go tell her you idiot.
sid: you think so?
diya: absolutely.
sid: thanks diya. you are the best. (hangs up)

diya put the phone down. she locked her room and sat on the couch. tears silently plonked down on the floor from her eyes. she hurt beyond words. she had lost him again. she cried all night.

she went to meet madhu before she left to the airport. she told her all that happened. madhu was angered. how could he fall in love with some girl so soon?
diya just smiled for everything. madhu cried to see her friend this way and the fact that she was going half the world away from her. diya cried too. to leave her parents, madhu and all the memories here.

date: november 2010
place: stanford univ

diya: madhuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... its been long since i called you. how are you.
madhu: babeeee... love ya. been long.enjoying?
diya: you know me. am fine. having a ball of a time
madhu: ball of a time.? i know you babe. still feeling bad huh?
diya: guess who i met here. tom cruiseeee.
madhu: babe. are you truly happy? (in a serious concerned voice) you should have told sid of your love.
diya: (wry smile) and what? put him through a life time of misery thinking about arvind and me?
i know sid better than sid himself madhu. he loved me like noone else can but he was never over arvind. he was in a dilemma.
madhu: but you are making yourself unhappy.
diya: madhu. i love sid. i love sid so much that i only want his happiness. even when i know its not going to be with me.
madhu: diya....
diya: dont tell anything madhu. love is not just being with the person. should i hate him now that he's moved on? i would still love him. more than ever. knowing that he is happy makes me happy. i hurt him once madhu. and i wouldnt want to hurt him again. my heart will always be around him. my classes are starting love. will call later.

madhu was contemplating about what diya said as she put the phone down. she was proud of her diya. she looked back at the entire sid-diya episode. 8 years. one hell of a time. long time too. but she knew diya was right. diya's words kept echoing. i love him so much that i want his happiness even if its not going to be with me. madhu closed her eyes as a tear creeped out.

diya was sad yet content that sid was finally at peace. he would not need to worry that it was his fault that diya faced arvind. wouldnt have to feel bad for diya and can atlast be happy with a fresh new start.

well folks thats how the story ends. sid is now with megha. diya is still in love. with sid. but is happy knowing that he is happy with megha. and as for me. i shall take leave now :) hope you guys enjoyed reading about sid and diya

love story part 12

2010-11-06T10:32:00.000-07:00

sidharth krishnan finally decided to confront his parents. his heart had ached enough. his eyes had cried enough. he had messed up enough. he had had enough. he knew he wanted diya. he sat down and discussed with his dad. it took him time. a long time indeed. Mr and Mrs krishnan could see that their eye candy had indeed grown up. Mr.krishnan realized his mistake of going overboard with his enthusiastic detective skills when he knew it had cost his son - his dream - his love.Mrs.Krishnan had seen enough of her son losing the glitter in his eyes. they accepted diya with their heart. they now wanted what sid wanted. diya - the one girl who would complete their family now. sid knew he now didnt have any obstacles to get her.

diya was in a deep slumber, when she got to hear the news. some random person, had decided to end his life. the reason - he couldnt keep pace with work lifestyle. diya was disturbed. this was not the first incident ever since she joined work and this was definitely not going to be the last. she took once good look at her life. she realised that she was working like a maniac to forget sid and arvind but in the end was forgetting her happiness, her life and the very passion she had for life. she knew she wanted out. she decided to wait for sometime.

date : dec 31 2008

diya was watching the skies - stars over shadowed by the lively lights and colors of crackers. diya was lighting a 'diya' in the open air audi where new year celebrations were going on. her phone kept singing 'if you are not the one'. it was sid. diya ignored the call, adjusting her gagra choli and getting ready for the fun filled dandiya. her partner was aarav, a fun loving cheerful team mate of hers. thats when it happened. the music started and people slowly started moving rhythmically and diya and aarav started dancing along with the others. the dance picked up tempo and suddenly diya found herself lying on the floor. aarav had fallen on top of her pushing her to the ground. he had fainted. he was rushed to the hospital where he was treated for severe ulcer, low BP and immunity. diya remembered the countless days aarav a nd she had had night outs slogging in front of the computer. she knew she was done. she picked up the phone. she knew what she wanted to do now and it certainly was not in IT.

date : feb 2009

things were not too great at diya's place. her fathers business had suffered a set back and she was about to quit her job. the atmosphere was tense. her parents and relatives had verbalised their unhappiness in her decision and it was very difficult to get even an iota of support from them all. diya was going through turmoil all over again. the very parents she idolised now seemed distant as she was left alone to go through her decisions.the tension that was running low for quite sometime burst out suddenly and resulted in a verbal tiff between diya and Mr.vasisht. they stopped talking. diya felt more lonely though she was surrounded by people.

date : august 2009
it was her final day at microsoft. diya was given a small farewell and she was coming out of her office. her father had refused to talk till then. diya called him up to keep him posted not expecting the words to follow. an already preoccupied father burst out words he would later repent on the phone. diya was shocked. she was not expecting her father telling her not to get back home without a job. she didnt know how to react. her phone rang again. it was sid as usual.
diya couldnt stop crying hearing sid's voice.

place : mocha cafe

sid rushed to meet diya as soon as he heard her cry on the phone. he couldnt wait for her to come. sid was blown away to see diya after ages. she looked fabulous now than ever yet she looked melancholic. it took his breath away to see her eyes, yet her eyes were lifeless. where was the spark in diya? where is the diya he fell in love with? it pained him too his diya in such a shape. diya fell into his arms as soon as she saw him. sid was not expecting diya to hug him. his heart skipped a beat. it took a moment to realise that his diya was in his arms. he felt complete. he wrapped his arms around her vowing not to let her get away.
diya didnt realise she was hugging sid. the last few months had been so horrible for her that when she saw someone she knew and was once very close to, she had hugged him without thinking. she drew herself away from him and looked him in the eye. he had changed a lot in these years too.

he didnt let go of her hands. they sat to talk about life and everything else happening around them. sid couldnt stop wondering about the changes in diya. the bubbly blabber mouth who spoke nineteen to the dozen was replaced by the eerie calm and measured words diya now sitting in front of him. the goofy tomboy was missing. a feminine beautiful diya was in front of him. diya too was noticing the changes in sid. he was more talkative now and a little boastful. diya noticed how he kept fidgeting with his mobile.

sid: so how are you?
diya: been better :)

and there it started.. two people brought together by destiny, but gone different paths and again together... chattering away as it started drizzling outside....

what ensued the following months was a love-hate relationship between sid and diya.sid kept asking diya to come back and diya was dodging a relationship. this angered sid. he understood diya but he was not able to rationalise.

date : dec 2009

sid: hullo diya? i ve been asking you for a long time. i still did not get an answer.
diya: i did tell you sid. i dont want a relationship. its a mess right now. i quit my job and am aiming for my masters now. things are not smooth at home and am so uncertain about my career. i cant afford to mess up another relationship now and the way things are right now if i get into one its sure to be a disaster.
sid: but diya. its me. we've been in a relationship already
diya : sid but its not been a successful one. has it?
sid: you B*****. you are a F****** second hand. and i am giving you a chance though i dont accept second hands. is that not enough for you?
diya: sid. what?
sid: you've still got the same attitude. go to hell.
diya : $#$%$

diya hung the phone and stormed off for a walk. she was furious. at herself. for letting in sid. she felt miserable. not having anybody to talk to and having her heart being played with over and over again. she decided she was never going to talk to sid.
sid couldnt hate himself more for talking bullshit. he didnt realise what made him speak so. he knew just onething. he was not sure how to get diya back.

two souls who loved each other but couldnt tell it out without hurting the other. life is indeed funny!

love story - part 11

2010-11-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

Date: may 2008

Place: ode coffee shop

Ode was known for its ambiance and the number of young couples who come there. Diya was seated in the farthest couch, lurking in the shadows, sitting alone and sipping a cold coffee. Te cool liquid quenched her parched throat and a small frown on her eye brows and the occasional pout of her lips and her dreamy eyes were shouting out “lost in thoughts”. She was hurt. Twice she had ventured into love, pretending to be brave, but had bitten the dust. Her heart pounded with misery. She was not able to breathe as grief choked her. The clouds rambled above as her head hurt.

Daniel bedingfield singing, “If you are not the one”, from her phone, shook her out of her reverie.

Diya: hullo

Diya? Happy bday baby. Please come back to me.

Diya: Arvind?

No... It’s me Sid….did I ever tell you how beautiful you look? How your eyes speak to me?

diya: sid? is this some kind of a joke? (Hangs up)

Diya gulps down the last of her coffee and waits for the cheque. Someone touches her shoulder. Diya turns back to look into his face smiling at her, his eyes searching hers.

Place: madhu’s house

madhu: so your highness just decided to run away? diya, why did you run away

diya: why? you want to know why? madhu. sid is the last person I want to see now. didn’t I tell you already? he called me up and had the nerve to ask me if arvind dumped me. I don’t want someone to sneer at me right now madhu. so spare me this guilt trip

madhu: you idiot. this is not a guilt trip. you running away from sid is only soothing his ego. you want me to talk to him and ask him to scoot?

diya : (remains silent)

madhu: dude?

diya applied for a transfer to gurgaon and flew there the following month. she wanted to start fresh. little did she know things would never be normal for quite sometime. her long working hours kept her busy not giving her time to think much about sid or arvind. she was getting over the person but arvinds words kept haunting her. arvind had spoken in a lowly language during break up and the coffee day incident , though soothing, didnt do much to help ease the hurt. she decided to give time - time.

diya was losing concentration at work and she decided to take a break and go visit delhi. she went with her colleagues and she smiled for the first time in a long time. she was standing admiring a small pendant at the chor bazaar. the design gave her goose bumps. it was a small heart frame within which cupid stood with the initial 's'. Sid had given her a similar pendant. she felt her eyes moisten and her neck suddenly felt cold with the gush of air. she heard a whisper . so you do like me huh? come back baby.

she felt she was hallucinating, remembering what sid spoke to her at ODE. she placed the pendant back and turned into sid. sidharth krishnan - the guy who captivated her heart so fully that it still hurt to see him. she was shocked initially and sid smiled at her expression.

sid: babe, did you forget delhi's my place? or tell me did you come for me? i knew you still loved me

diya: her eyes moist. stands still

sid: ( sobering up) how are you diya? you are still my baby girl. come back to me sweetums.

diya: (finally finding words) why do you want me back anyway sid? theres too much water under the bridge now.

sid: i still see you as my diya. i can never seen you as someone else's

diya: walks away.

sid: pulls her arm. listen diya. this time around - it's my control. ill give you 10 days time. come back to me. or else..

diya: flaring up... else what?

sid: ill make it 20 :) now go ahead honey. i dont want to look handsome like SRK holding your hand in the bazaar with bangles like in Kabhi kushi kabhi ghum

diya couldnt help but smile at his PJ. sid saw her smile. he knew diya was smiling after a long time. his girl was looking so sad, so lifeless and so without a spark. he missed the original diya. the one who he fell in love with. and he knew he wanted her back.

sid realized he had been foolish in the way he handled diya the first time. their separation taught him how big a gift diya was in his life and this time he was ready to get her back. for life.

diya walked into her hotel room and plonked on the couch turning the tv on. SRK was romancing Kajol in K3G. she thought of Sid's sentence and smiled. but her heart was shut. she didnt want love. no more.

love story part 10

2010-10-14T07:15:00.000-07:00

Madhu shook diya out of her reverie and asked her what was wrong.
diya : i,err. i was just dumped!
madhu: what? F**** that Ba***** A******. why?
diya: i guess we know why. but break up for that? i dont believe it.
madhu: well what did he say?
diya: (still shocked.) that he has another girl waiting for him
madhu: oh babe. come lets go for a walk on the beach.

date: may 2008
place : bessie beach.

madhu looks on as diya stands motionless and void of emotions as the waves happily dance around her leg. diya keeps staring into the distant vast ocean as the sky and the sea merged into one horizon engulfing the orange sun amidst the beautiful range of a spectrum of colors. diya's hair beautifully framed her face as it leapt to the tune of the wind. with a blank look, diya inched forward. she kept walking into the water her eyes only on the long distant line where the ocean and the sky met. madhu cried out to her to stop, but diya kept walking inside, the water level steadily rising upwards.

date: september 2008
place : microsoft

diya was a bundle of emotions as she left home to one of the worlds leading software companies joining its wagon of talents. she soon fit in and kept herself very busy. she started meeting new people,befriended people easily and was having a good time in terms of her personal and professional life. diya missed everyone back home and longed to go back to chennai for the weekend. diya was the centre of energy in her team and she was also a high acheiver. her team leads were very happy with her performance as they knew she had it in her to go to great heights.
diya was homesick and took the train to chennai and thats when she got the call. the one call she hoped would never come - but the one call that refused to fade from her life.

date: may 2008
place : bessie beach.

the water swarmed upto diya's hips. diya stood still. madhu's heart was in her mouth. once she saw that diya had stopped walking any further, she heaved a sigh of relief. she came upto diya and yelled
madhu: moron! what on earth were you thinking?
diya: (looking blank) - thought i was gonna drown?
madhu: well n---yeah. you gave me the fright of my life.
diya: (wry smile.) for arvind? (sighs) give me sometime alone. ill be right back.
madhu : are you sure you are not going any further?
diya: (just stares at the sky)
madhu: okay, one step further and ill kill you myself. (walks away)

diya looked at the fading sun, silently allowing itself to be enveloped by the clouds. the bright array of colors slowing turning gray. the waves forcing themselves on her with revenge. diya swayed with the waves. like the sun, her life had lost it's shine too. her heart sunk and was enveloped by grief. life turned from technicolor to monochrome. diya looked up the sky to see nothing but black and she felt her life had now become a black hole. a vaccum. she lay contemplating about so many things in life. she looked up again as the breeze tenderly stroked her face and the moon lit up her eyes. her lips trembled and she closed her eyes, pushing out the tears that were filling her eyes out. diya cried. cried for what seemed to be an eternity.

for seemed like an lifetime diya cried her heart out. she didnt have any more tears. any more grief. any more worries. she felt numb. plain numb. she didnt know what she was even feeling. everything seemed blank and she could not comprehend anything. madhu had walked up behind her and stood quietly letting her cry. she quietly placed an arm on diya's shoulder. diya bawled as she turned around and hugged madhu. the two friends stood there,silence talking perfectly between each other strong as a pillar for the both of them. the sun went down and diya looked up the sky to see the stars sparking like diamonds. she knew what she had to do.

place : cafe coffee day

diya was putting on a bold face and tried to appear normal and happy. but madhu easily looked behind all of that.she knew diya was still holding on to a few things arvind had presented her with. madhu wanted a change of atmosphere for diya and took her out to coffee day for some girl bonding time. inspite of whatever diya went through, she always felt better when she spoke to madhu and family members. diya was laughing for something madhu said when madhu gagged on her espresso. diya turned out to see what she was staring at.

it was arvind with his new arm candy - a hot, scantily clad high maintenance chick.

date : december 2008
diya was in the train, happy that she was meeting everybody after months, on her way to chennai. her phone rang disturbing her happy thoughts. it was an unfamiliar number but a very familiar voice. the voice that always melted her, that always gave her goosebumps, that had crooned it's love a lot of times. it was SIDHARTH.
sid: diya?
diya: yes sid. what do you want?
sid: some time to boast
diya: huh?
sid: you broke up with arvind right?
diya: bye (cuts the call)

diya was disturbed.

place : cafe coffee day

diya turned herface back to her sizzling brownie with ice cream. madhu looked on worried.
babe do you want to leave? are you okay?
diya smiled softly. i have not done anything wrong to run away. only people who make mistakes walk around as if they own the place and pathetic souls that have not done anything hide usually. no madhu! am not going anywhere . am fine

arvind notices diya and madhu. a sly smile crosses his face. he chooses the seat next to them and makes his girl sit next to diya just to try to bug her. he crassly starts talking about how beautiful she is in comparison with 'others' and how 'open' she was. the poor soul blushed and diya couldnt help laughing at that hot nitwit. arvind feigned a surprise as he noticed madhu wnatedly later and started talking. he turned to look at diya.
arvind: hey! what a surprise. how are you? hows your guy?my oh my! you look decent now compared to earlier.
diya: am good! (refusing to lower her eyes stared right back at him till he lowers his eyes)
arvind: you know what diya? i suddenly remembered something
diya: oh yeah
arvind: (trying to provocate her) the reason i dumped you.
diya: eyes him without hesitation. whats that arvind?
arvind: i never loved you. i was just acting babe. (starts laughing as if someone had uttered a big joke) i was trying to get lucky but you were so closed.
diya: smiles sweetly and arvind. you know what arvind. i suddenly remembered something.
arvind: (with a lot of curiosity) whats that?
diya: gets up and goes near arvind. stands close to him that arvind smells her perfume. smiles sweetly at his eye-candy and bends down closer to his ears.
there's something i need to tell you
arvind: (all eager) yeah?
diya slaps him hard right in the middle of the coffee shop. everybody turns around to look while arvind sits there dumb stuck. diya takes out every single gift that arvind gave her and throws them all on his face.
the one thing i remembered to tell you baby is just this - you are an Ass****. showing him the finger diya walks out smiling with madhu, with a wild glint in her eyes.

love story part 9

2010-10-12T20:09:00.001-07:00

at this juncture, diya might sound bitchy. especially to the guys. how can she move on? without remorse? but hey practically speaking, all of us do not have the same ' moving on' speed, nor do we all go through the same situations in and after the relationship for us to judge.
but well sid and diya broke up in 2005 and it was late in 2007 that diya opened up to arvind. but all was certainly not well. she was treading very carefully, for she kept seeing a lot of warning signs.
diya is not the kind of person who would want to hurt someone by being in a relation with them yet keep thinking of someone else. so she decided there is not going to be any more sidharth's episode.
but she was not prepared for the series of shockers to come from arvind.
at first it seemed pretty normal that whenever she was around,arvind always seemed to be broke. but then came back to having a lot of money when she was not there. she didnt want it to spoil the relationship. she let it go. his phone like was always busy, and he was always surrounded by girls. diya was shocked to see her acting like sidharth - being possessive. she wondered if it was because of her past relationship failure. she decided to shake it off and focus on good things.
campus placements commenced. arvind didnt want diya to go to the USA for her masters as he would anyway be in India.Arvind said he wanted to work very seriously on the relationship. Diya bought that and attended her placements where microsoft was happy to take her in.
a happy diya was coming out when she got a call from ajay - arvinds best friend. he wanted to warn her.
ajay: diya, ive been with arvy since school and i am also in a relationship with someone else. so i do know what it is to be in one.
diya: ajay? what are you talking about
ajay: trust me when i say this. arvind is not serious about you.
diya was perplexed. why did ajay have to behave this way? he confided with vedanth - her good friend from school. vedanth seconded ajay.
diya couldnt sleep. what was wrong with arvind? nobody was telling her exactly.

the final shocker came very soon.diya's birthday in 2008

diya was bombarded with phone calls. even sidharth had called to wish her.she thanked him and cut the call. the one call she was expecting never came. she was disappointed but rationalised and went to sleep. arvind turned up at diya's place, took her out for a surprise. diya was happy.
arvind took her to his house to introduce her to his parents. she checked the way she looked in his rear view mirror and was asking so many questions. arvind had a smile but never replied.

date: may 2008
arvind's house

come in diya. diya entered an empty small but beautiful house.she was surprised. you said we are going to meet your parents. and she turned around.
arvind was closing the door, looking at her.
arvind: it was just to get you here.
diya: why would you lie for that? its not like we never meet alone.
arvind: (suddenly serious) (eyes burn with passion) : diya.. kisses her forehead
diya: arvind you still have not wished me.
arvind: am about to give you the biggest gift ever.
comes close to diya and holds her tight. removes his shirt.
diya is irritated and shocked.
arvind.whats happening.
arvind pulled out a pack of condoms from his pant pocket. and comes closer to diya.
*slap*
arvind: what the hell was that?
diya just opens the door and walking away.
she couldnt stop trembling on her way back home by auto. she called up madhu to talk about it.

madhu and diya met somewhere in 2007 through a common friend and found out that they had a lot of similarities. and over a period of time became so close to each that there was nothing they could not talk about. they were more like soul sisters. madhu was a couple of years younger to diya but still shared the same wavelength and attitude.

madhu : are you serious?
diya : you ve asked me that 10 times madhu .
(place : madhu's house)
the phone rings and arvind calls.

diya: arvind? am sorry i shouldnt have slapped. but that was too strong an action from your side and you scared me.
arvind: no diya.hear me out.
diya: yeah
arvind: this is where we part! i have another girl waiting for me
diya: huh?
hello?
hello?
(the line went blank)

madhu was looking at diya's face as it went blank with shock!

love story part 8

2010-10-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

date : 11 oct 2010
madhu and diya take a walk in the park where diya is unusually quiet. madhu felt diya was wasting time thinking about sidharth. to her, sidharth didnt deserve diya. her best friend.

date : december 2006

aravind rajagopal - onion as he was fondly called, was a sportsman by profession and a spoilsport by nature. boyishly handsome that led to him being extremely 'lucky' with women.being used to getting what he wanted his attitude bordered on arrogance and a few close friends of him would even go to the extent of calling him by all unceremoniously bad words as possible. more of a happy go lucky living in the moment kind of a person, his idea of a relationship was just the fun element. and this is where he met diya. vedanth was diya's classmate in school and now arvind's collegemate. arvind got to know diya through vedanth and started talking to her.

diya - she was not like the other girls he knew. she was smart, confident and more importantly - never took any bullshit. all the hype and outwardly shows that he put up to impress her went in vain. he was irritated.whats the matter with this girl? girl thinks too much of herself that she doesnt like me? but he also started liking her despite his annoyance. he tried befriending her. and was surprised to discover that behind her calm exterior was a tom boy with an amazing sense of humour. he started falling for her. for her mysterious charm, for her amazing smile, for
everything about her.he wanted to propose and called her up.thats when she dropped the bombshell. it was a crying diya who picked up. perplexed, arvind enquired about what was troubling her and thats when she told about sidharth.arvind was crushed that this girl had someone in mind, but he wouldnt relent. he proposed. diya declined. but he kept going at it. but he also made sure he helped diya heal her heart first. it took a very long time for diya to be back to normal and once she was normal - she was even more of a delight to be with. arvind proposed again.

diya had started feeling comfortable with arvind.after all he had also had a broken relationship and he was able to relate to her better. he was a stark contrast to sidharth. he was funny,made her laugh a lot, took things easy,and more importantly always made her feel better and trusted her. she felt nice when he was around.but once bitten twice shy.she was not ready for a relationship.she felt she didnt have it in her to love someone.all that she wanted was a friend. but arvind kept trying to convince her.the vasishts were happy to see their daughter back to normal again.
date: 2007
diya laughed, till her stomach hurt.literal rolling on the floor laughing. arvind was eyeing her happily as she laughed for something they were talking about.
arvind: diya?
diya: (still laughing) yeah?
arvind: love you.
diya: (sobers up) arvind...let's..
arvind: sshhhh...let me finish. ive been in love with you for long.and i will wait. but you need to understand that the past is over.its done.we all have to move on.and i want my life to be with you. i was paid for my match and with that savings i got this gift for you. i will be waiting for your answer. i am truly madly deeply in love with you. think and tell me.
saying so arvind leaves diya and walks away.

diya did think. she was scared of relationships. sidharth had left a scar. but arvind was everything she longed for in a relationship with sidharth. she found herself wishing sidharth was arvind.diya knew arvind was right in asking her to move on. but she was not sure if she wanted to move on with arvind.and then it happened.

diya's phone number was obtained by some 'wrong-number' guys who started speaking crap knowing it was a girl. she was shocked as it was the first time she encountered this. it was arvind who sensed something was wrong and even called that guy back,threatened and put an end to the issue. he gave her a hug and asked her, are you ok? just let it go and kissed her forehead. just be a little careful with people to whom you give your phone numbers to.
diya:but arvind i never gave my number to....
arvind:shhhh.. i trust you.

diya pondered about the episode all night. only one sentence kept echoing. i trust you. the one thing she didnt get from sidharth. she wanted to give him a chance. but this time she didnt want to take a chance. she took a very long time, spoke about it to her friends, wrote the pros and cons and atlast decided to give him a chance...

she said a goodbye to sidharth krishnan as she accpeted arvind finally.

sidharth speaks

2010-10-11T20:13:00.000-07:00

well hey guys am sure you would have been convinced am some psych by now - the way i run after diya only to spoil the relation. but its only one side of the story. thanks sow for letting me talk.
i was born and brought up in delhi and it was classical music that brought me to chennai.it was 2002 thats when i saw her. i've never been a big believer of love-esp love at first sight. but guys - its only when something happens to us, do we accept a lot of things.i was crazy about her, but i didnt have an access to this goddess. so i blogged my love and spread the word hoping against hope she calls me up. it took 2 years of plain torture waiting for a reply and madam replies.man! that one moment - it was ecstatic. she was the one person to whom acting idiotic seemed better than acting intelligent.she liked me for just what i am - any guys dream. when she told me she was falling for me - i swear that moment was more intoxicating than weed or alcohol. i was a brat - and instead of medicine, i had settled for bio technology. and once she came into my life - she made it proper. she never bossed around, was never unnatural or egoistic and i couldnt love her more. i could not see life without her. anywhere in the future. after all its us guys who love more right?
we both had just completed college first year and parents finding out about it was a little difficult in terms of maturity for us to handle. i agree my father over-reacted.over-reactions have always been a part of my family. blame it on my genes. he fought with her poor parents who had no clue.and then on top of it, went and visited her grand mom and slyly checked out the family details. and he comes and tells me the family seems nice. diya seems to be a nice girl. i was elated for my father was giving me the green signal. i now knew there was no stopping our marriage. but things backfired at her house. they absolutely didnt like whatever my over-enthusiastic father did. nor did they like me. diya was horrified, that my dad checked about her from my cousin and her friends. (remember my cousin is diya's college senior?).
i dont blame her. she s a princess and a person of gold. nobody has secretly checked out if she was a good girl. she felt hurt and irritated with the way it was done. so when their family was scoring good points, my family was scoring bad points.

the other pit fall was me being possessive. but come on guys - am not richard gere. infact am still surprised that this girl fell for me in the first place. i am just an ordinary looking over-weight fella. i was only protecting my baby from other guys (better looking). not that i dont trust diya - i dont trust the other guys. after all we brothers know what the rest are upto right? :P
i drink - but tell me which girl likes it. esp kalyani brand - awesome man! i lied that i dont drink. already the situation was bad. and diya found out about this. she couldnt believe i lied.this angel of mine never lied to me for anything. i knew i hurt her. i knew i couldnt take it back.

the situation was worrying me. diya was increasingly unhappy and i didnt know what to do. my helplessness turned into possessiveness to hold onto her tight, but the tighter i held on - the farer diya was getting away. i knew i was suffocating her - but i didnt know how i could repair the situation. if only men were as articulate as women. i dont think asking my friends to spy was wrong.after all only flirts go to her college.and their only job is to hit on MY girl. how do i protect my love.
diya shouted at me telling - sid! am mature enough to handle flirts. i love you! dont for a moment think ill stray. i only want your trust.and not this macho attitude. this only implies a lack of trust.
i couldnt answer - neither could i stop when she brought thunder.
she told me she wanted to part ways. gave me a lot of reasons. but i couldnt rationalise with her,how could i? i couldnt even comprehend what she spoke to me only she said lets part. my heart broke is an understatement. thats the only time i cried. cried that my baby had gone. life turned to black and white from technicolor. and i hated my father!

i took to booze and fag. i even tried the idea of weeds and one-night stands. i know i tried to blame it on diya. but i could not. she was MY diya. My angel. she always will be so. i tried contacting her every year on her birthday. she always loved me enough to talk to me, but would not get back to me.

who knew life would come a full circle and me and diya would again come together?

diya speaks

2010-10-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

hey all, first my profound thanks for reading my story. sowmya's left the job of talking about me to me. well where do i start? maybe she doesnt realise how difficult it it a job?
let me start about what the story is all about. love!!! how magical a feeling that is.captivating and soul warming. where does life exist without love? i found my first love too. in my parents. i would call being blessed an understatement to get them. and my sister. we may not be without fights but to me its one picture perfect family.i am pampered- yes- but am not irresponsible. i have seen my parents earn so much and then call it bad luck, lost it all for quite sometime. that made me tougher as a person. made me learn harsh realities of life and more importantly, made me love my parents more for all their sacrifices to ensure we had a royal life.whatever i did i knew i owed it to them. people think i have had it easy for me in life, but they fail to look at my efforts behind it. inspite of being popular, i still longed for someone to understand the person that i was. thats when he came into my life. tough times seemed easier, lonely path was suddenly welcoming.probably the only person who knows me as well as my parents.i was sure my parents would love him too, just like i did. but who would have guessed all that which happened. How could i insult my parents when they were already going through a lot in life.how could i leave someone who s given their everything to make me for what i am?how could i even compare? but i couldnt let go of sidharth too.i was sure things would settle down. but what really happened once we got settled down in the relationship? possessiveness and doubts and anger and unthoughtful words! for someone who was not shouted at by even her own parents, it was new and shocking. but still since when had love cared. i took it all in hopes that he would understand.
on one side i was not even able to recognise sidharth anymore. is it the guy i really loved? and on the other, i got to know more about the sacrifices my parents made. and their life journey.
two selfless people asking their daughter for just one thing - and one thing only.
how could i refuse? how could i see sidharth anymore?

the waves kept gnawing the sand, pushing my feet inside. i turned around to look at the vast ocean and i knew deep in my heart, without an ounce of doubt - that i couldnt be happy when my parents were not happy. that i wouldnt be happy with sidharth if he keeps doubting me.
i knew i had to walk away.....

love story - part 7

2010-10-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

not much is known about diya though she is the protagonist.she was fun loving, bold, practical,committed and very importantly simple and honest. her folks also had a simple mind and there was no dearth of love in her house.so trust naturally came to her. physical appearance was not on her check list and she didnt have any qualms about falling in love with sidharth.
sidharth -- how the name haunted her.
sid: happy bday diya.
diya: sid. dont call me. i told you am seeing someone else.
sid: i know. i hacked your ID and confirmed it. else i wouldnt have let you go. would have fought.
diya: you did what? are you crazy....

date: december 2007

arvind: diya, i want you to meet my friends..guys this is my girl - diya. aint she the most prettiest thing?
diya - stop it arvind. hi guys....

date : november 2006

diya: (cries) sid, i want a break.
sid: okay, lets talk about the fight later
diya: no sid! a break from US.
sid: whaaat? are you nuts?
diya: no sid. i cant take it anymore. your doubts, your dad's progressions, your spies and your hacking. its driving me nuts and i cant be with someone who doesnt trust me.
sid: ok
diya: okay??thats all. fine .bye

arvind - the second guy to win over diya. got to know her as his classmates bestfriend.and started off as friends. he started falling for her,until she opened out about sidharth. he was by her side as she dealt with her broken heart before even opening out about his love. a sportsperson, tall,fair with a boyish charm and outgoing. it seemed to him they were a good match.

diya was having a nice time with her new friend. their wavelengths matched and they were even completing each others sentence. she was trying to put aside her broken heart and move on. little did she know the disaster that was waiting to happen.

sid meanwhile completely broke down, and took to drinking,smoking,weed and girls. blaming it on diya he went through a phase of these before deciding to concentrate on his studies.

when arvind proposed, diya was hesitant.but after a long time, she accepted. but nothing was like what she had with sidharth. the one name that refuses to go away from her heart.

feb 2008

diya: hello?
sid: diya? its me.
diya's heart did a few somersaults. sid????
sid: how are you? long time huh? i heard you broke up with arvind!
diya: sid! lets not talk about anything personal.
sid: well, got placed?
diya: microsoft.
sid: oh same old IT company. i started my own company and sold it later for an awe-fucking some price, you should try booze. f*** its awesome.
diya: sid! since when did you start swearing. and whats with drinking?
................

diya - the one girl that lit up his life. how was she now? did she still think of him? sid couldnt sleep.
sidharth krishnan - is it the guy i loved? what has happened to him? who is this arrogant person?
diya couldnt sleep either.
she was mulling over arvind and sid as sleep overtook her with her 20 hour days at microsoft.

love story - part 6

2010-10-10T06:22:00.002-07:00

date: august - 2006
diya was playing with her dog dushew when the bell rang. she ran to open the door and it was sid!
diyas mom came out with her to see the person.
sid: hello aunty, am diyas classmate vinay. came for some materials.
diyas mom: pls come in. diya why are looking like this? call him in and give him something to drink.
diya: (in whispers) : are you nuts?
sid: about you
diya: ha ha!!! very funny. now you are going to get us both killed.

diya and sid were later laughing about the episode over phone.
sid: next time you are coming to delhi. am done with chennai.
diya: (overwhelmed by sids efforts) - you remember you asked me something?
sid: huh?
diya: want a serious answer?
sid: baby,,,
diya: hushhh! i love you sidharth krishnan. and yes ill marry you with all my heart.

days rolled into months. sid grew over protective and that started causing friction. he started using her mail ID to talk to her friends, pretending to be her, started spying in college, and insisted she talk only to him all the time. diya was finding the spying part uncomfortable and she took it as lack of trust. the two got into numerous fights and somehow, it seemed long since either of them even told the other their love.

happening: Mr.krishnan scares diya.

Mr.krishnan with his affection for his son, was disturbed all through the episode. he knew his son was mature enough not to take a relationship for a joke. he now was curious about diya. he slowly started his own investigation again ( thinks he's one james bond:P). he went through the call records once again and ka-ching - he hit gold. he found out diya's grandmoms phone number. he called her up, introduced himself and started building up a rapport. he flew all the way from delhi to meet grand mom. granny called up diyas parents and said about the incident. diya had a terrible time at home for having continued the relation and for lying. she totally lost her parents trust. she felt angered by the entire episode. she called up sid to confront him only to find sid nonchalant about the entire episode.

time : a very bad time in 2007
it was becoming increasingly difficult to handle sid. he was becoming obsessed and controlling. once a friend of diya's had called her "sweetheart". this friend coincidentally turned out to be a guy. all hell broke loose. sid fought with diya for a month doubting her of two timing. diya had heard enough.
she didnt have the heart to let go of sid. how could she? it might have been love at a young age. but it was love never the less and first love at that. her parents still refused to trust her till she cut out sid. on one sid was this sid she felt she didnt know anymore and on the other her angry parents.
she had to choose. she had to!!!

love story - part 5

2010-10-10T05:46:00.000-07:00

date: 2005 , some month
it didnt take long for Mr.vasisht and Mr. krishnan to notice the sudden hike in the phone bills. nor did it take time for Mrs. Rishitha Vasisht and Mrs. Kalpana krishnan to notice that their children were smiling to themselves, talking in hushed voices an were getting missed calls that turned out to be calls only when they attended. Vasisht's dismissed it as a normal teengager sign while Krishnan's took it seriously and started their investigations.

date: april 11.2005
sid: hullo?
diya: dumbass. sleeping? happy happy bday baby :) wanted to wish you first.
sid: just a wish? no gifts?
diya: given it through a friend of mine. you ll get it in your college.
sid: best gift's you. ill compromise for a smaller gift. kiss please?
diya: well tried mister! sleep tight. ill see you in train when i am going back to chennai.miss you :)
sid: am waiting for the journey too. but you know why :P
diya: get lost you bum. bye for now

diya had a blast in banglore and was waiting to board the train to meet sid there.she was getting increasingly frustrated as there was no sign of him. the train started with the helpless diya hoping for him to get on the train. sid never turned up. diya reached home to a cold welcome from her parents. somehow she knew - they knew.

date: same time - sid's place.
Krishnan: sid, who s diya?
sid: dad she s just a friend.
krishnan: i know all about it. and i certainly dont approve. we dont even know anything about her family. you are not going anywhere.
sid: dad, i like her.
krishnan: i've heard enough. either you forget her or ill cut college.

place: diya's place

rishitha: diya who's sid?
diya: huh? mom!!
rishitha: i know all about it. have i ever been a parent/ ive always been a friend. since when did you start lying?
diya: mom, dad! am sorry. i was ....
rishitha: stop this diya. sid's father called us and spoke bad about you and our family.
vasisht: we are decent people and we dont want you involved with him anymore.

the phones were locked, sid's cell phone privileges cut, internet cut. the two were so far away from each other. the only communication was sid's cousin lathika, a college senior of diya.

diya went to her grand mothers house and called up sid pretending to be his college mate. they lov birds still managed to find ways to keep in touch. still not out of shock, diya cried to sid over the phone. this incident still strengthened their relationship as they vowed to always be with each other

date: june 2010

diya: do you realise that i cant even stand the thought of you?
sid: and i can stand?
diya: #$# off sid
sid: #@$# off too

date: july 2006.
the second shocker in the relationship came in the form of suspiscions. sid started getting possessive. his friends in diya's college were appointed as spies to watch her every move and report. and when diya spoke to someone she immediately had to answer a volley of questions. diya took it all with a smile for she knew sid was acting crazy as it was a long distance relationship.
the duo decided to meet.

date : august, 2006
venue: parthasarathy temple, chennai

sid and diya had no problems coming to a temple as it was one place not associated with love. sid was already waiting for her.wearing a jean and a white t-shirt, nervous but trying to act all macho.
his eyes were scanning for diya and a smile broke on his face when he saw her walking towards him. dressed in a blue salwar-kameez, short wet hair, small bindhi, make-up free naturally pink face, smiling at him,bangles jingling as she waved a hi and a wonderful smell as she came close to him. he was mesmerised and so was she.
it took them a minute to even come out of the reverie and talk.
the conversation was just plain old sweet nothings.

date: april 2010.
diya: it was your dad who spoilt the relationship.
sid: dont give excuses.
diya: its not an excuse.
sid: you are just scared to get back to me. bye

date: parthasarathy temple in august 2006

they walked back home, side by side, dragging the steps to reach home late. diya quietly held his hand. sid blushed yet was proud that his girl did that.silence spoke more than words there. sid and diya --- they were perfectly content in their small world.

who would know it would crash very soon?

love story - part 4

2010-10-10T01:12:00.000-07:00

date : september - 2004

diya nearly fell out of her chair with happiness when she saw the mail.she had developed this annoying habit of checking her mails every 10 minutes to see if she had gotten a mail from sid. she was on the verge of giving up hopes when she got the most expected mail ever. his reason for a late reply - holiday in the bahamas. and thus started a volley of mails between sid and diya. they slowly started off mailing each other every 2 days. it reduced to everyday and 1000s of mails in one single day.
sid : can i have your phone number?
diya: what if i dont give you? :P
sid : ill get it anyway. :)

diya couldnt stop falling for sid. but wait - there was only one problem. diya had never seen sid, though he had seen her.poor sid never had the chance to talk to her as she was always surrounded by over-enthusiastic teen guys her age! (diya was a lil popular you see and she also had a pathetic observation skill)

days rolled into weeks and weeks rolled into months and they had spoken nineteen to the dozen about everything. sid was still madly in love with diya. diya felt she knew sid for ages!such was the understanding they shared. the chemistry. diya confided in her friend-swapna, before she told sid.

she mailed up sid. "sid! i think am falling for you". thats when the two began their journey as a couple. sid immediately rushed to the nearby phone booth and called up diya.

sid: you sure?
diya: yeah.
sid: will you tell me those three magical words?
diya: (blushes) you know it, dont you?
sid: please???
diya: I LOVE YOU. now you tell me
sid: me? errrmmm.. i dont have the guts babe.
diya: what? you ass! you have the guts to blog in public but not tell me i love you over the phone?
sid: ok ok chill my baby. i love you............................

telephone calls never stopped at the vasisht's and krishnan's house after that for a long time.

date: august 2010

the ringing phone woke diya up. it was sid.
sid: have you decided?
diya: need time.
sid: #$#%$%!%#%^#%$#$%
diya: will you stop hurting me? #$#@%% i HATE you.
(cuts the call and ignores his further calls)

diya kept pondering about how her sid could even talk and think so low about her. the same lips that said i love you once, now talks cheap about her. the same eyes that melted when it saw her, now wreaths sarcasm. the same heart that once beat for her, now despises her. the same guy who hugged her saying she was the best, not boasts about HIS success and her failure.it killed diya to even think of sid. tired, she dragged herself to college where she was pursuing masters in the USA.

date: january 2004

sid: i need to see you diya.
diya: me too. very badly. how about you coming to chennai for the holidays. ill go to bombay for my holidays. ill come back soon and we can meet.
sid: which train are you coming by?
diya: why?
sid: evil grin - i have a better plan. am going to come by that train too. ill get to meet you on the train. it will anyway take 1-2 days for it to reach chennai right?
diya: (feigning ignorance) -yeahhhh...so?
sid: you do realise it's gonna be just us?
diya: ahaan. so? :P
sid: ur gonna be kissed madamoiselle.
diya: (blushes) so are you kind sir!
sid: can i hug?
diya: u dont ask that mister! a GUY does, doesnt ask.
sid: yeah? you know what other things a guy would love to do? :P
diya: oh you are soooo dead loverboy! :)

date: september 2010

sid: i miss you diya (kisses on the phone)
diya: mmm i see
sid: diya? (kisses)
diya: (ignores the kiss)yes sid?
sid: come back to me baby
diya: sid.... (cries on the phone)
sid: yes love? ( breaks up)
diya : i gtg (hangs up)

love story - part 3

2010-10-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

date: a rainy day - delhi - 2007

i love you sidharth. i will never leave your side come what may. i love you , love you. sidharth felt a pang of pain as he kept mulling over her. diya - the love of his love, the one girl who completed him. he would have taken on the entire world to be with her. his diya - now a distant memory. just A memory.

sidharth - will you marry me diya?
diya: course stupid.
and she had kissed him on the phone. how time flew?

sid do you realise its been an hour since you went inside the bathroom. get out now - rang sidharth's mother's voice

hurriedly coming out, wiping his eyes, sid planted a kiss on her cheek and waved a bye as he left for college, not noticing his mothers empathetic look.

date : happy days before diya came into his life
,sidharth krishnan - sid as he was known was a wonderful singer,proud member of 'no girls - no pain' club, a computer whiz, aspiring doctor, but an average student and a pampered boy. coming from a progressive thinking but deeply rooted south indian brahmin family, music ran in his veins. inspite of his delhi environment, his very modern friends, he was a tambrahm in his heart . a contrast to his very modern appearance.

dadddd! have you gone nuts! am preparing for my PMPD exams. no way on earth am i going to chennai for the next 2 years and be with relatives. whats wrong with my friends and delhi?
all arguments ending in vain, it was a disgruntled sid who got down from the train as it crawled into central station. he made a mental note to himself that this is one place he was going to be miserable in. poor sid, he didnt know then his life was about to turn topsy turvy.

date: first day - DAV gopalpuram

sidharth felt like a total alien amongst his classmates. delhi and chennai's attitudes don't go together pappa. i told you wailed sid over the phone. but no luck. he knew he was stuck.he waded through and quickly made friends. his cousin also from the same school and good at singing was his closest company and they soon made ripples for their singing.

date : fateful day

student1: let me sign in for JAM but that diya would still win.
student2: well we can come second in oratorical competitions you know?
student3: why dont you go for the singing competition?
sid: am not sure. but alright. write down my name.

date : hero meets heroine

vikram was diya's school senior and now in sidharth's school. sidharth sees diya talking to vikram and thats when he notices her for the first time. earth didnt shake, butterflies didnt fly, bells didnt ring and lights didnt light up. but he knew he was done! completely bowled over.

sid: hey vicks - who's that? (appearing to be non-chalant). your girl? you were grinning too much?
praying he says no.
vicks - well yeah
sid - (shocked) what?
vicks - i wish. (mournful smile)
sid - explain please.
vicks - i tried dude! lady doesnt budge. tough to get her fall for a guy.
sid - happens man! lets drink it over.(appearing sympathetic)
(mind voice - woot woot! tough lady - you are certainly gonna fall for me. i can sense it)

date - april 2010

you are such a loser! you can never decide. all that you can do is whine about things. #%$@^%$#%$#^$ ...

sid couldnt take back his words at diya though he would give anything in this world to take it back. HIS diya. what happened to the same heart that loved diya to insult her this much? sid couldnt forgive himself. but the damage was done.

diya had gone from his life - for the second time!!!

p.s - second time? when was the first then? when did they fall in love? why did they break up in the first placE? how did they get together later? to breka up now? keep guessing. cya in the 4th part.

love story - II

2010-10-09T22:24:00.000-07:00

date: the day diya finally saw "the" blog

diya and her cousin bharath were always more of friends than cousins. and he was the first one to know about the blog naturally.
bharath : diya....?
diya: huh?
bharath: do you realise your mouth is wide open like a cave ever since you opened this blog? ( evil laughter)
diya: huh?
bharath: oh god! stop staring at the monitor and look at me.
diya: i cant believe that guy!!! and to think everyone in our school knows about the blog and has read it. love is something private!
bharath: is that why you were so obssessed about the blog and the guy? whats his name anyway? suraj?
diya: sidharth!
bharath : (lol) whatever baby sister! hey look he has given his mail id! want me to act all macho and threaten him?
diya: you do something insane and i swear youll die.
bharath : so spoke juliet of the century! :P
diya - buzz off bro.

sidharthkrishnan@yahoo.co.nz ---diya kept battling in her heart. to mail or not to mail. but she did mail him.
she could sense the rish of blood fill her face, her trembling fingers, the fast beats of her heart. all logic asking her not to mail, but her heart wanting to! why am i acting nuts? she would have asked this infinite times to her dog dushew~

"send" - "click" - diya couldnt stop gushing. now she couldnt wait for a reply. the next couple of months just rushed past with board exams and results and college applications.

at the corner of her heart - she knew she was waiting for a reply. who was this guy? whats he done to me? what am i feeling for this guy? how can i like him without even knowing him.

some passerby : hey diya, looking beautiful
diya : thanks. ( well sidharthkrishnan, that was a start)

date: 10 oct 2010

diya's room mate and best friend madhumitha comes to wake her up and sees her crying. being best friends for a long time, she doesnt need diya to tell what was wrong.

sweetie, come on now! things will be alright!

diya: (wry smile) ya sure! give me 10 minutes. let me get ready.

"what did you do these 4 years? just loved??? did you atleast do something useful with your life diya? did you? did you?" diya wiper her eyes and walked away as madhu looked on worried.

love story -I

2010-10-09T21:52:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: the story is true. but the names and locations have been changed to protect the identity :)
love story - I

date: 10 oct 2010
day: sunday

diya rolled over in her bed,listening to 'you are always on my mind', hugging her pillow that absorbed her tears as she cried silently. "well then this is where we part! i have another girl waiting for me!". the words just wont stop echoing.and the song didnt help either. she sobered up and lay thinking as her memories travelled 8 years to that one day.

date: some day in june, 2002

the Xth passed out students were conducting that year's interschool competition of their school. diya's school was as popular in chennai as she was in school and in chennai student's circle, thanks to all the interschool competitions she went and won. very chirpy she was in the midst of things when he spotted her.

sidharth - born and brought up in delhi and in chennai for his 11th and 12th. a singer and an aspiring doctor. older of the two siblings. (enough introduction for now)

diya - apple of the eye for her parents and again older of the 2 siblings. pampered princess.

what was happening to him, he wondered. was it love? plain craziness? that instant he knew he had fallen. fallen for this girl. the girl he knew nothing about. not even her name. but fallen! big time. fallen hard.

date: some day in 2004
place: boilogy tuition - gopalpuram

diya was just coming out of class when her classmate brindha stopped her with a funny expression.
brindha: diya, is someone following you?
diya: (puzzled) well, i dont know. why?
brindha: some guy from delhi is in love with you. the news has spread like wildfire. he has even proposed in a blog. everyone from our school and his school know about that blog. dont you know?
diya: (surprised) what? a blog? thats crazy! why would someone do that? coward or what?
brindha: well i can give you the blog id if you want. check it out and talk to him.
diya: nopes. not interested. gtg now. ciao

the following days diya just couldnt stop being curios inspite of acting non-chalant. all her friends were also not showing her the blog to irritate her more. anger gave way to curiosity. friends started teasing all the time and it gave way to a sense of liking.

will sidharth and diya meet? when? what happens next. part II

what is it?

2010-09-25T19:52:00.000-07:00

what is it about home that makes time fly? i remember how extremely hard it is to push time in my room during weekends. i meet tons of friends, keep going out, yet it becomes increasingly painful to pass time. but am home for the weekend and a days already gone in the blink of the eye.
and i dont want this day to end :(

2010-09-11T06:35:00.000-07:00

i really dont know what am going to name this article as for all i know it could be meaningless ramblings. i read somwhere that people come into one's life for a reason, season and a lifetime, and that each will leave as and when their job in our lives is done. how profound and true. just like the all of us, i've had my share of people who came into my life for a reason and a season. and have their exits been a sweet adieu kinds with an orchestra playing at the background? i wish. not everybody has left a sweet memory behind. some are as sour as the bad grape or a lemon, but do leave behind a valuable lesson never the less. never ever waste your time over someone who left you when they meant the world to you without a reason is something i learnt the hard way. ofcourse not something that never happens but the experience is quite a learning unique process for all of us. through sifferings do we grow stronger. and though i have not really suffered in generic terms, all my experiences sure do make me stronger and help me in getting to know myself. for now, peace!

compassion today

2010-08-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

I am certainly not a cynic but a borderline case anyway.:P i always complain humanity is dying. this one day i was returning from college by an over crowded slow bus when an old lady was feeling faint. i gave her some water on drinking which she got chest pain (swear the water was pure :P). the entire population of the bus got concerned. men immediately got down and rushed to get her some chocolates and the woman started fussing over. the conductor and driver wanted to take her to the hospital. i was really moved.
p.s - the lady refused help and created quite a stir.though thats a different issue.
moral - humanity does exist very much and all that people need are genuine cases to help.
more often than not people get wary as they get cheated so badly in today's situations.
i only hope more people come forward to contribute more to the nation at large
:D

just so

2010-08-28T10:42:00.000-07:00

as every day crawls by or rather whizzes by, am left with a sense of emptiness strangely.one fine day you find yourself at the helm of things going smooth and the next you begin to wonder if anything could go right. starting from the incidents to the people around you. life is strange yet is a circle. i've had people leave my life at some point yet come back again. i sincerely hope i can say the same for people who are walking out right now, though how enthusiastic about life being a circle - god only knows.i find it strange that love takes a backseat today and other shallow thoughts are considered uber cool.priorities and considerations have become different and i wonder if beauty is really worth it when we start associating with people only based on looks.people are downright rude and selfish,mind you, am no jesus reincarnated either,but i cant stop wondering aloud, if it is all really worth it?relationships have taken a backseat when all that really matters in life is not the number of flings you have or the drugs you try or the number of cigars or bottles you empty, but how meaningful is life really. how happy are you with people and how many people are happy because of you.you affect one person's life for the good and your job here is done.value love, value friends, value life, value everything that god's given us,for all of us are just here for one second in god's time. have some meaning for life and dont live cos we are born. live for a purpose
peace :|

raavanan

2010-06-20T03:43:00.000-07:00

okay, this is the first time i have gone to an over-hyped movie with a stellar cast on the very first day. it was an awesome experience to go out there and shout till your throat was hoarse for chiyaan vikram, a slightly old yet beautiful looking ash,prithviraj,prabhu and even karthik. undoubtedly the loudest cheer went to ranjitha :P but what promised to be a nail biting racer soon began to lose pace and should i say story. vikram was the life and soul of the movie carrying it on his shoulders and all the characters did justice to their characters. the cinematography was just awesome and we didnt even want to drink a coke in fear of finding our bladders full what with the rain on the screen in every frame being so realistic. the hours just whizzed by though it sagged in the middle and kind of got predictable.
but sure, i can watch it for vikram any time and any more times too in the future.
am now waiting to watch raavan in sathyam. company anybody ??? :P

life as you call it.

2010-06-20T03:17:00.000-07:00

life is strange.sometimes it gives you moments that take your life away and some that literally pain you to death, and the best part, you never know when life's going to deal you what card. the optimist finds it awesome while the pessimist dampening,whereas majority of people like yours truly,who swing somewhere in the middle and brand ourselves practical,find it a lot of things ranging from exasperating to confusing to doomed to what next. i remember reading in someone's orkut profile that said, everyone is born and everyone dies, it is what you do in between, that counts".the minute i read it i was like "what the fish", but pondering over it, i can understand how true that is. there is not one of us for whom everything has been the way we dreamt of,heck i cant even dream of just one thing all the time. everyone of us face disappointments,broken hearts,failures at home,job,college,school and where ever we get involved with. but the difference lies in getting up every single compared to remaining on the ground. sure we all die, but how many of us leave our foot prints in the sands of time? no, am not talking about doing something big, am talking about making a difference to at-least one person in this world for the better. that makes life all the more worthy. i may goof up in a lot of things, and yes i would certainly feel like a failure, i might want to give up, but i know i will keep going on till i do something. people today decide your success by only certain parameters - job,money, education, eye candy life partner. is it really all that there is to life?
comments are welcome :)
till then... peace !!!

it takes just a moment

2009-09-03T00:27:00.000-07:00

after 24 hours of fast paced high pressure drama India woke up to a little hope and then sorrow at the death of Andra pradesh chief minister YSR reddy. though my blog is not about him, at this juncture, lets offer our condolences for his soul to RIP.
the moment i heard about his death, there was just one thought that was filling up my mind. how life changes in not even a second, but a moment.
we have the tendency to keep thinking about the past or contemplating the future that many of us or rather all of us at some point or the other tend to forget to live the present.
this only results in a feeling of desires being unfulfilled, of low morale, of a feeling of disappointment and what not. we are adding more stress to the already stressful life of ours.
i get reminded of a saying
yesterday is history
tomorrow is mystery
today is reality
that's why its called the "present"
life doesn't give us second chances at anything and we should make sure we never have any worries about unfulfilled desires in life. who knows we may not even get time to reflect on how our lives have been at our death beds like YSR.
well, winding up, let us make each moment count in our lives without any hassles in doing what we want and love.
as some one rightly says, don't add years to your life , add life to those years.
what more could be so aptly said!!!
peace!

i'll be right here waiting for you - richard marx

2009-08-05T10:32:00.001-07:00

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Waiting for you

in the arms of the angel.

2009-08-05T10:25:00.000-07:00

one of my favorite songs.

spend all your time waiting for that second chance
for the break that will make it ok
there's always some reason to feel not good enough
and its hard at the end of the day
i need some distraction or a beautiful release
memories seep from my veins
let me be empty and weightless and maybe
ill find some peace tonight
in the arms of the angel far away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you feel
you are pulled form the wreckage of your silent reverie
you are in the arms of the angel,may you find some comfort here
so tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
the storm keeps me twisting you keep on building the lies
that make up for all that you lack
it done make no difference except one last time
its easier to believe
in this sweet madness oh this glorious sadness
that brings me on my knees
in the arms of the angel far away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessnes that you feel
you are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
you are in the arms of the angel may you find some comfort here
in the amrs of the angel may you find some comfort here

cell phone monitor

2009-08-02T02:46:00.000-07:00

aaaarghhh!!! my cell phone monitor has gone awry and all that i am able to see now is a wonderful spectrum of rainbow. this is real bad news for a phone that i bought so lovingly after a lot of research and with my first salary.
i hate it happening to me as i have no luck with cell phones. one could say that after managing to lose 2 phones and breaking two.
i have to rush now to the dealer. wait a minute. what is the problem now? i do not know where my warranty card is.. and hey wait a moment.. is there even a sony ericsson dealer in trichy?

oh my god!@#!$!$!%^%#$%!#@#@!#

peace !!@#@$#%$#@^

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2009-08-02T02:33:00.000-07:00

life's like a game of cricket.T20 at that. it's short,adventurous, nail-bitingly exciting and every over throws in surprises like the dhoosra or the bouncer or the spinner. each over could be a 6 sixes or a duck in the very first ball of the game. it doesn't matter if you win or lose the game but all that matter is how you play the game.you could sign out of your game in style a la an Adam Gilchrist or mess it up a la sreesanth. but this game requires a solid team with good team spirit. so does our game, called life, require friends.

and whats more apt than dedicating this article to every friend of mine on friend's day. often a friend is like your soul sister( soul brother's too :-P), oftern willing to play the devil's advocate. one certainly can't imagine life without friends. am sure all will agree it makes life like a lonely cactus on a scorched desert. right from being your partner in crime to a shoulder to cry on, a friend fills up everything in your life. friends do change in one's life but nobody can change their lives to be without a single friend ( am sure even the most cynical snob would find solace in another :-P)

talking about friends one cannot forget the series F.R.I.E.N.D.S. that ran successfully for a decade. circling around six friends in new york city, the show is an epitome of how friends still stick together in spite of all that they have to go through in life. the show takes us through how six people in their early twenties, stick together,take life on, learn, and mature to love life and them for who they are.

friends dont jusge you. rather they are people who stick to you after knowing the darkest of your secrets and the dirtiest of your sins. they are people who dont expect anything from you except your time and love. they are people who stick to your side when the world has turned it's back on you. they are your morale booster when you are down and your santa claus when you need a present even if you have been bad all through the year.
and for all my santa clauses what am i going to do to tell them i love them all? pen down my love in this article. so here is to all my friends who have made me what i am today. love ya all.. cheers...
peace...

sigh!!! happy ending :)

global warming

2009-07-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

one very funny and thought provoking video on global warming.

disclaimer : this is NOT my own video and was forwarded in a mail. solely put up on this blog to spread awareness about the issue.

car rally - follow up

2009-07-26T10:12:00.000-07:00

human mind is probably the most amazing work of nature. but surprisingly today's hectic life shuts down the mind as well as our capabilities. we really do not have much time to even think of a million things that we may do and enjoy as well. for me, one such thing is definitely a car rally .very often we shut ourselves thinking we may not enjoy certain things or not be good at it.but when we actually do try it once we ll be surprised at how much we enjoy it.my mom was on my team and i was not sure how things would go in case she starts being all motherly with me again. we are so used to seeing them as matronly motherly figures and this helped in seeing the women in them and the fun that they have as well.
fastrak 09 was entertaining with me being the time keeper for our team. compared to the previous year we certainly did better but a time delay of 11 minutes did push us back to the 6th position. but still the valedictory function made it up for it with yesteryear's cricketer krishnamachari srikanth being the chief guest.
all in all this really turned out to be and event that will be cherished and remembered.

car rally

2009-07-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

here is my blog after a very long hiatus. i am off to participate in a car rally along with my mom and mom's friend bhooma aunt. being the time keeper who has to do some math i am really nervous about the calculation part though am sure we will all have loads of fun irrespective of victory.
the rally has promised to take us to parts of trichy we have never seen before.so am also planning on my camera though am not sure if we ll have time for that..
anyways all said and done, am sure this first experience in car rallies will be something i will treasure for a long long time.
peace :-D

Are you Going to finish strong ? ! ? !

2009-03-31T06:25:00.000-07:00

this is one video that made me cry.it is such an inspirational video that really makes a difference.
quite often we would complain that we don't have what we want in life.and that god's mean.but this is one video that makes you think of this proverb

" when god answers your prayers, he increases his faith in you,
when god delays answers to your prayers,he increases your patience,
but when god doesn't answer your prayer, he knows you can do it yourself"

well this video has been something that has changed me and i hope it makes a little difference to everybody out there too

blogging

2009-03-22T20:10:00.000-07:00

well well i should definitely say blogging is an art.many think its just penning down your thoughts,your observations...yeah it is but that also requires the creativity to pen down your thoughts into words and en eye for detail.and moreover we could know painters who tell they cannot draw until they feel like doing it. i would say blogging is the same too. though there are so many topics to talk about ,you just go blank when you have to sit and write or rather type until you are in the groove.well now why am i telling this, cos i need to get back in touch with my blogging and though there are so many ideas i am still stuck somewhere.a friend of mine asked me to suggest some topics for his blog when i told him that my condition was no better than his.thats when this stuck me, to post about blogging,.it is sorta adddictive too. ince you have a blog you just keep filling it and taking care of the posts and comments like its your own kid.and that also helps in driving away idle thoughts and helps you better in writing too.
well for anybody who s bored i would suggest blogging.
peace :)

india - the land of free advices [;-)]

2009-02-28T05:30:00.000-08:00

much has been said about india. so i thought ill talk about one facet of india..advices.from economy to education to marriages to even answering nature's call,every ram,laxman and siva(indian version of tom,dick and harry) have their views. whats wrong,you may ask.well its when they try to intrude into your decisions,it becomes a problem.i recently faced this issue when i decided to quit my job with a well known company.woe begone. i was flooded with hpone calls 24*7 trying to brain wash me,threatening me of the consequences of leaving a good job,from dire threats to emotional dialogues,the whole week made me wonder,how i still retained my marbles. yes,accepted its their affection that makes them over react, but how much of intrusiveness can be allowed and from whom and for what seems to be the question?why are we not comparing ourselves with the western countries when it comes to this?i dont have any answers. at one point of time,parents fail to realise their children are perfectly capable of deciding about a career the older generation doesnt understand.a lot can be smoothened in giving each other their own personal space. as i always tell my dad,even if my decisions go worng, i want to make my own mistakes in my life,not somebody's mistakes.and as usual my dad blames the high salaries we draw today as the influencing factor for the lack of respect and the display of 'pluck' as he terms it :) well at the end of the day india still is the same and so are our lives.so whats the point of this blog??? even if no parent sees this, atleast let me vent out (hoping my dad doesnt catch a glimpse ;-) ...)

pretty boy song lyrics

2008-06-12T04:48:00.000-07:00

I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start

Oh my pretty pretty boy
I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay
Right beside you

I used to write your name
And put it in a frame
And sometimes I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall

You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time

Oh my pretty pretty boy
I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay
Right beside you

Oh pretty boy
pretty boy
pretty boy
Say you love me too

Oh my pretty pretty boy
I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy of mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay, ooo right beside you.

my part time job

2008-06-09T01:22:00.000-07:00

holidays had begun and i was as usual aimless trying to find means to kill time.my uncle called me up with this offer in his exhibition. rise ans shine company delaying in horticulture tissue culture and flori culture had also put up their stalls.and being fluent in Hindi and not Tamil they wanted a translator who could run the show. and voila i was there the next day with them may8.when i stepped inside i had my own doubts as to how i would suit the job. if i really will do it without getting bored.if i would be able to mingle with professionals with their management degrees and so on..but the moment i met them i was so much at ease with vishwajit and madhuri. and the four days were absolute fun. distributing pamphlets and giving my pep talk about tissue culture bananas.and the different personalities you come across was just mind blowing. some farmers really surprised me by asking questions about genetic engineering involved and they also taught me some points. i would say that exhibition helped me in a lot of ways.and once the show was over i had got a good friend in madhuri and vishwajit and she gave me a chain and an invite to her house. her whole family was also present and adding to the fun was her small kid

be natural with a smile and anybody would warm up to you
be very sincere i whatever your work is even if part time
be patient when handling people
learn to have fun and also put your all in work
be open for any kind of opportunity because you never know..it may be something you thoroughly enjoy and get a lot in return
added to all of this i got paid too :-)

and to this day and in the future those four days will always remain clearly etched and fondly remembered.

MY FIRST EYEBROW TRIMMING EXPERIENCE :-)

2008-06-07T19:05:00.000-07:00

Many people told me my eye brows would look even better when properly shaped.my mother, my sister,my friends, classmates,everybody. i thought why not give it a try. its my wretched habit to try and know as much as possible about something that i am about to do to keep me informed and prepared. my friends really frightened me by telling me its gonna hurt a lot the first time your eyes will water a lot.once you start trimming its a life long process though it adds beauty to your eyes its painful.. am the biggest chicken at heart and trembling all through the way to the beauty parlour asked my mum if it would be painful she frightened me even more by telling me it will be thorn pricks.and with a naughty menacing gleeful grin added i am sure you are gonna cry and shout and bring the roofs down.. what worse hell could be there. i felt like a goat about to be sacrificed to the deity when i sat in the plush comfortable couch.begged the beautician to do it slowly.with a sly smile she said sure but cheated me by doing it quick and smooth though. in all it was not as painful as i was frightened into believing and though when i look at myself in the mirror i cant help laughing at the way i look now.
i could only pat myself in victory for i came out without crying:)
three cheers to sowmya ;-) and thus was my first eyebrow trimming adventure :)

a few poems i liked.collected along the way

2008-06-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

i came across some poems and i wanted people to know them too.here they are.

When i look into your eyes
your the only one i need in my life
we've been through so much together
and i feel like I've known you forever

your the only one for me
i love you more than you'd ever know or see
i get a big rush when I'm with you
& i hope you feel the way that i do

And the way you look at me
it makes me go crazy
the way you talk to me
shows me that our love is true

id give so much for you to just hold me
your love can completely control me
you show me your love to me and
see me from inside and out
and i feel the same way without a doubt.
Sometimes at night,
When I look to the sky,
I start thinking of you,
And then ask myself "why?"

"Why do I love you?"
I think and smile,
Because I know,
The list could run on for mile.

The whisper of your voice,
The warmth of your touch,
So many little things,
Make me love you so much.

The way that your kiss,
Fills me with desire,
And how you hold me,
With the warmth of a fire.

The way your eyes shine,
When you look at me,
Lost with you forever,
Is where I want to be.

The way that I feel,
When you are by my side,
A sense of completion,
And overflowing pride.

The dreams that I dream,
That all involve you,
The possibilities that I see,
The things that we can do.

How you finish the puzzle,
That lies inside my heart,
How deep in my soul,
You are a very important part.

I could go on for days,
Telling of what I feel,
But all you really must know is...
My love for you is real.
You are the comfort I run to when I feel alone
My love for you is true and world wide known
You are my lover the one I have wished for
Never have I loved someone this much before

You always there to hold my hand or make me smile
Each day and night you prove my life is worth while
I appreciate you so much you're someone I adore
If we were separated I don't think I'd live anymore

I trust you and respect for all that you're worth
I love you more than anything on this earth
I truly believe that you are the one for me
I'm mad about you, you drive me crazy

Thank you for walking into my precious heart
Showed me the meaning of love from the start
You've given me everything to makes my life complete
You are the reason my hearts skips a beat

I love sharing every moment with you by my side
I know with my feelings or thoughts I'd never hide
Promise me for tomorrow and the next days to come
You won't let go and break our commitment from one

My heart is in your hands as yours is in mine
Our love is so beautiful now our hearts have combine
Love is what you mean to me, and you are my life
I'll give you anything more in this world even be your wife

I have had the time of my life and I owe it all to you
Our love is based on loyalty, happiness, love and truth
There's only one I care for,
That only one is you,
I'd give my body, heart, and soul,
For a life with you.

I know that you've been hurt before,
And that you're locked up tight,
But open up your soul to me,
And I will make it right.

There's nothing that I wouldn't do,
To live my life right next to you,
If only I would have the chance,
To snap out of my enlonged trance.

These words are hard to say,
For one that is not true,
But I for one don't like to lie,
I swear that I love you,

I swear that I will stick by you,
Through good, or bad, or worse,
And that from this point on,
I'll go without remorse.

My heart holds what my hand cannot,
My love for you is like a knot,
It twists and turns so many ways,
As it will till' end of days.
I trust you with my heart and everything I own
Your heart and soul is where I'll always call home
Sometimes its hard and things don't always go our way
But our love grows stronger and more beautiful each day

Its true there is bad times maybe worse than the last
But in time we'll be smiling again quite fast
I know you'll always be there for me during good and bad
And I'm sorry that it affects you so much each time I'm sad

My heart will fall for each time I see your face
With you I could be with forever and no other place
Baby you're my everything and so much more
You welcome me in each time I walk through a door

For the rest of our lives we'll be more than a friend
Sticking by each others side till the very end
A magical feeling between us two that will last till forever
The lyrics say it in the song 'we belong together'
Your always there for me to help me through my fears, you always comfort me and wipe away my tears, you are my rock the one who keeps me sane, you always talk me out of wanting to run away, you make me feel happy when things don't go my way, your the one that loves me, the one who knows who i am, your everything to me, your my special man. if i lost everything, everything id love you'd be standing there showing me all your love, you really don't know how much you mean to me, i want to tell you everything, i want you to see, my love for you is deep, stronger than the winds, your everything i want, your everything i dream.

EI NEE ROMBA AZHAGA IRUKA !

2008-06-06T04:08:00.000-07:00

i happened to watch this movie yesterday ei nee romba azhaga iruka.though the film was not a block buster hit i found it appealing.the concept was exemplary which people should learn.many people have the tendency to hate the person we loved the moment things dont materialize.said jason jordan " True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."some people tend to fall in love in a haste whatever be the reason and in reality when the partner doesn't second our imaginations, instead of accepting them for what they are we tend to break the relation.there are so many incidents where people try to destroy either themselves or the person who they were in "love" with.when in love they seem to treasure the partner but the moment it ends the person they put all efforts in hating and forgetting is the same person.have people misunderstood what love is?or are they becoming so jealous and blind with rage to forget about sixth sense and humanity?it is true nobody even thinks of break up when they start loving.their relationships may end for any reason.my aim is not to judge with whom the fault is.but the way people should behave when it ends.to do justice to the wonderful concept handled in the movie i can only second the dialogues of the main character "its true our love ends but that doesn't mean our love was not true
and is not necessary that we have to stop loving a person once the relationships ends."i came across a quote by an unknown person but its worth implementing " I've learned in my lifetime so far that you can't help who you fall for and no matter how hard you try and how much it hurts you everyday that you just wanna be with them or just talk to them you never stop trying to make them happy by the little things you say or do because that's what makes your life worth going on for."this is love.what if a person ditches you.you cans till Love them with your heart truly.go on with your life but still be for them when they need you.i believe in it and the movie.
for anybody in love i would say its a perfect movie to watch.:)
remember people tit for tat or hate red or vengeance is never the answer.what these cant do love can and a simple smile can.what if your relationships ends.you can still love :) cheers

CHENNAI - MY SECOND HOME

2008-06-05T08:12:00.001-07:00

i am always flooded with loads of emotions at the very mention of the name 'madras' .the city thats always closer to my heart.right from the time i was a kid it always captivated me fascinated me and enthralled me.i love beaches and can spend days together curled up feeling the warm smooth sand caress my skin,the salty breeze wafting though my hair,my spectacles misting up with salt,the embers roaring with the wind when the corns are roasted,chat food items,horoscope,fish,shells.mmmm its like being transported back to the beach.the most visited being marina and besant nagar (fondly called bessy beach by chennaites) with the passing years the quaint old sleepy traditional madras has evolved into fast paced hip hop metro chennai.
the place has given me a lot in life.friends for one. very trust able loving friends.and even more.
being a shopaholic the roads of t.nagar, pantheon road,luzz, spencers,city centre are all paradise.
and for foodies like me the city is loaded with food centres.from the road sides to the taj every morsel is worth the bucks and adds to a new unique mouth watering tempting experience.i cannot go on without adding planet yum gangotree juice shop on greams road..the discotheque s also deserve a mention...the luxurious multiplexes are toppers in the list of relaxers..satyam mayajaal to name..the educational institutes on par with the world add to the feather in the crown.the school,pssss, dav,st.johns so many..iit madras anna university srm and many more.and for people with a religious bend of mind there are ancient beautiful mind blowing temples ,parthasarathy temple,kabalishwarar temple and to note that mahabalipuram is not too far from the city.
the i.t lane can never have a boom tremendous like this with so many Indian and multi national top companies moving base here.and the medical facilities are on par with the best of the world.lower rates for paramedics and medicines make chennai the hot destination among people of the globe.
added to all this is the koovam,landmark, huge hotels,rani meyammai hall,raja muthaia hall,kollywood starts and the industry as such..from any city in the state the trains set for chennai are always full.the article will be incomplete without mentioning the attitude of 'chennaites'..fun loving,adventurous,a perfect mix of tradition and modernity well exposed but rooted to values and ethics.the city also boasts of a long list of sports persons with ample facilities available to shape them.one such is the chinnasamy stadium,.every year december chennai soothes one s heart with its december kacheri s. a true delight to a person with inlination for music.
and to this day i still feel like a kid when i step into the city.for it has given me some precious gifts in life.more than a person can ask for.i would love to be posted here for my work.
all said and done no amount of writing can express the love for chennai - my second home

RECIPE FOR A HAPPY LIFE

2008-06-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

it was the year 2000 when the newspaper "the Hindu" was about to start "the quest" a supplement which was filled with articles from school kids.the very first edition of quest ,our school was given the slot and my article appeared in the newspaper.i felt very elated and satisfied as if i had conquered the world.the article i had written is the title of this blog.recipe for a happy life.at 21, having faced my own share of the world i feel the recipe is very important for everybody. which is why am posting it out now.

RECIPE FOR A HAPPY LIFE

INGREDIENTS :-
happiness - 1kg,
helpfulness - 500g,
trust - 1kg,
enthusiasm - 500g,
creativity, independence, intelligence, competitiveness - 250 g each humanity,compassion - 100g

METHOD :-

take the pan of life. pour in the essence of humanity and compassion.
to this add happiness and helpfulness.boil till it bubbles with joy and color.
drain out the ego,jealousy,hatred and anger.
to this add trust and mix till it blends
chip in enthusiasm and stir well
garnish with creativity, independence, intelligence, competitiveness and decorate with confidence
serve on the plate of love

well people, a simple recipe which when followed can not only make our lives happy and fulfilled but can also make a difference to our loved ones near and dear and strangers even. after all life is not about the years we add to life..it is all about adding life to those years :) what say you? :)

REVIVIING THE PAST

2008-06-05T06:39:00.000-07:00

it is generally said reviving the past only makes matters worse.what are you going to gain by doing it people question.there are quotes which says "the past is a foreign country,they do things differently there".i would say we have to revive the past.both good and bad.good to boost up our batteries and the bad to make sure history doesn't repeat itself.once we become adults life becomes so demanding and tiresome and mechanical that it becomes almost impossible for us to think of anything else other than a few minutes relaxation.where is the time to keep pondering when there is so much work to do?mind is a peculiar entity.it works non stop.which is why we always have something popping out suddenly which may be highly irrelevant to the current scenario.even when we sleep which is why we dream.people resort to booze and fag trying to "boost their energy levels" they say.a simpler healthier free option would be reviving our happy moments.our first crush, our struggles to talk to that handsome prince,our first ranks,little prizes,small fights between friends,little nothings that go a long way in shaping a person.the first leaf we preserved,the first peacock feather we pressed,our first bicycle,tuition rides,b' day bashes,school and college mischiefs,annual days cultural s jolly freak outs,what not.try doing it and you will find yourself smiling to yourself.feeling light happy and special. likewise it is also necessary to go through the bad times.not emotionally but using the brain.life s a cycle and the same sort of incidents may happen at a different time by a different person in a different situation.reviving the past helps us in coming to a decision.we will know how to react and how not to screw it up.after all life is all about good and bad experiences. making the most of it is in our hands.else they would not have said “What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”
yesterday is a history tomorrow is a mystery today is the reality which is why it is called the "present" make the most of it. revive your memories :-)

my judging days :-)

2008-06-04T21:58:00.000-07:00

i had just returned from Chennai after meeting my friends when i got a surprise call from one special person Mr.G.Balakrishnan fondly called g.b.sir.wanting me to judge fancy dress contest for kids and the best couple contest.though i was not very sure as to why i was chosen i was excited about the prospect of it.anything new always aroused my interest and the day dawned when i was to the judge..may the 16Th (my birthday too) for fancy dress and may the 17Th for the best couple contest.though the entire experience was sweet and something worth cherishing it was sir s praise that actually made me feel absolutely happy and embarrassed at the same time.and adding insult to injury was the way Austin listened to sir and kept teasing me about it.i just didn't know how to react to both sir and Austin.was both happy and shy.all in all a new wonderful incident .and to see the pictures in the newspapers the next day with a formal title and the way i was addressed really was humorous.
but then to wind up it has given me a lot of exposure and added to my friends humorous envy :-)

few people who mean a lot to me!!!

2008-06-04T21:03:00.000-07:00

i was searching for something interesting to write about when i got messages from my friends.then it stuck me.why not write about them?a friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway,who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.so many people walk in and out of our lives day in and day out.only some of them leave a mark and still stick with you.two such people are aparna and venkat.i would not say i am perfect.but they love me with my flaws and support me through thick and thin.
having known venkat for nearly 8 years from our school days, we have come through our fair share of fights ,misunderstandings ,ego .we have not spoken for even a year continuously.but still we are there for each other in all that we do..he is one person who may appear harsh and rude when talking to us.but deep down its the concern that i should not be hurt.i remember venkat shouting at me when told him about my commitment but i do now realize he wanted to protect me so that i get only the best right kinds person.
the other sweet person is aparna.friends are not about the duration.its about understanding.and she s a fine example for that.its hardly a year since we met but she knows me in and out.
a wonderful person who believes everybody has got the right to be happy and deserve only the best.am so happy to have found a true friend in her.many a times i have come out of difficult situation only after talking to her.a very sensible level headed person who wlays makes me feel special..
i can only second robert alan who said
"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
very true.....P
friends are many like santhosh,vivek ashwin mithra raaga prasad abishek balaji rohini ashish lalith neeraja yogesh and so many people and i would just say this to all of them

True friendship isn't seen with the eyes, it is felt with the heart.
When there is trust, understanding, loyalty, and sharing.
True friendship is a rare feeling, but when it is found
It has profound impact on our well-being, strength, and character.
True friendship does not need elaborate gifts
Or spectacular events in order to be valuable or valued.
To ensure long-lasting quality and satisfaction,
True friendship only needs a few key ingredients:
Undying loyalty, unmatched understanding, unsurpassed trust,
Deep and soulful secrets, and endless sharing.
These ingredients, mixed with personality and a sense of humor,
Can make a friendship last a lifetime!
This is just a thank you, my friend, for all the wonderful and colorful
Special ingredients You've brought to my life!

i love you guys and thanks for being there for me.it matters a lot :)
peace

conflicting emotions!

2008-06-02T03:24:00.000-07:00

i notice that emotions and the resulting behaviors of people always tend to be conflicting.
just consider this case
when do we like/love a person? when we like everything or rather most of the things about them.and why do we get angry? when people don't fulfill your expectations.and who are the people you get angry with?the same person you love a lot and you are close to.
the very same person about whom everything you liked the same person is the center of your anger..i always used to ponder about this cos i always get angry with people who are close with me and fight a lot.
we are afraid to express our emotions to some x who doesnt mean anything to us but end up hurting loved ones.why does this happen? do we have the tendency to take loved ones for granted? or is it that we tend to vent out all our depressions and disappointments on them cos they are stuck with us?isit the simple privilege in thinking they will understand us? we are so cautious as to not to hurt the feelings of someone who doesn't make any difference to our lives but tend to slice the heart of loved ones with our knife like words...
what causes the change in us?i am clueless.do we stop considering the loved ones emotions or are we too naive to take them for granted?or is it the over protectiveness and affection that makes us to behave like this?
consider the case of being hurt..why is it that we get hurt by someone who doesn't mean anything to us at all and tend to get hurt ourselves and sulk?so many emotions and so conflicting in nature.the way we have to react to loved ones we do it for complete strangers and the vice versa.why does this happen?
may be we are forced to hide our emotions from strangers cos the world is like a wolf to pounce on our vulnerabilities , we cannot displease our bosses.true...but our loved ones??? are they to be used as buffers? or are our family sentiments and values decreasing..my mum used to tell me tolerance is decreasing with every generation.are we starting to prove it???i hope not.
i only hope this post will make to a difference to at least one person and their loved ones.and if it does...what else but peace :) !

patches:) the "loyal" dog ??

2008-05-18T04:22:00.000-07:00

right from the time i can remember dogs have always captivated me,motivated me,i adored dogs. not breed specific but the word dog makes my heart melt:) people identify me as a dog person .and i have always been proud of it. when my little pom breed patches died,i was 10.not wanting to go through the emotional trauma of losing a pet again my parents said no to a new dog.but they had to give in to my pestering that they grudgingly( though secretly happy) brought home the latest addition in our family.a great dane pup..hardly 2 months old and clumsy with a pot belly filled with meat the poor fellow came inside trembling.my first reaction was disappointment.is that a dog really i asked ,much to the amusement of my dad,i poured over every book i could lay my hands on to know about greatdanes so that my pup got the best.then came the task of naming him.so many options..major, dushew, timmy, suddenly i noticed this little fella had white patches on his chest and paws.,,,exactly like the older patches.and voila,the new patches had come.sometimes i think its my old patches again come to us.silly or not,patches was again in the family and we were happy. the clumsy fella grew alarminly into a strong graceful gentle benevolent dog that he is now. ubt his face still holds the prankster rougish look it held when he was a pup.i know dogs are loyal and could be taught discipline, i wonder if he disciplined me or i disciplined him. my patches is the most gentlest being on earth that even when the next door street dog bites him he wags his tail.even when i most irritatingly wake him up from his slumber doesnt even growl but simply moves to a new place. some people break down when angry ..some break whatevers around them..being the latter i felt shame seeing patches. and i mellowed down. i grew to be patient caring understanding..is he here to teach me this i wonder. i am in awe as he has so much to offer and is so humble.there are loads that people have to learn from pets and i believe it now.. i read an article that said to live a happy life lead you life like a dog.. *even when scolded bound back with joy *bond with your pack *occassionally pamper yourself *be fit and walk lots *do something silly to laugh and make others laugh i cant remember reading something true as this.and looking at patches i wont say its a bad idea:)

my first post !

2008-05-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

I  had seen a Lotta my pals with blogs,easily pouring out words effortlessly writing what they wanted to.
may be i was inspired by it.i don't know.but the idea of having a blog to pen down my thoughts(rather frustration) was intriguing.and here i am.logged in a couple of days back and still thinking about what to write.
 OK here goes i thought i will write about my first writing experience.sigh! am just sitting in front of the computer staring at the screen for once at a total loss of words.

people tell me when you are proposed or very happy or sad you are at a loss of words but what now i sigh:(...
and here i am only formatting what ever crap i have written so that at least it would keep me occupied:)
coming back to the topic i still wonder how i can bring my thoughts to words and make it flow zappppp like the others. hell no!
but am atleast happy that i am able to talk some nonsense and fill up this number of words. should thank my school jamming days i guess..
but one can be sure i have signed out with the satisfaction of atleast typing in some words as part of my first writing attempt in a blog :)
peace:)